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3 Bumps

Feeling sad and angry that hubby wants to wait to try?

We have a wonderful 2 1/2 year old son, and although hes a handful, and has been a handful I really am ready to go for our second, and final child.

The only thing really stopping him is finances which is understandable- but not everything. and the fact that we have a 2 bedroom condo we are stuck with until the market gets better- which also isnt a huge deal.

I just feel so sad and so angry that he is essentially taking liberty here and saying that we won't be trying for at least 14 more months...it's not really fair to me. When a woman is ready- she's ready. I can't just turn off the desire, and I can't live vicariously through friends because they are all done with kids and have older kids....

I don't know how to deal with this..

Answer Question
 
stephanieplante

Asked by stephanieplante at 2:41 PM on Oct. 15, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 10 (478 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Sounds like your husband is thinking responsibly. He wants to be in a better financial situation before having another child.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 2:44 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • if we wait for that it'll never happen. we are doing okay..not great but okay
    stephanieplante

    Comment by stephanieplante (original poster) at 2:53 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • yup its the opposite w/hubby n I , he wants to have another baby.He already has a 15yr old daughter i have a 4yr old from a prev& we have a 2 yr old together, I just got a job& his job pays okay i guess enough to pay the bills, i just dnt see it being fair to my other kids that we can barely give them things now, if we do its only on paydays & its going out to eat , i have been buying my kids clothes at thriftstores, good clothes but used& his daughter we havent bought her anything since school started, were taking her shopping this payday.He was sad that i started my cycle this week.
    gabby06

    Answer by gabby06 at 2:54 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • And it's not fair to your husband to demand you have a child only when you want to. It should be when you both want to. The last thing you want to do is put strain on your marriage by having a child he's not emotionally ready for and you can't afford.
    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 4:29 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • It sounds to me as though your hubby wants to make sure that you and he can support the baby#2 which is very responsible of him. If you haven't already done so, I would have a discussion with him and explain to him your feelings on the issue. Be honest. Maybe you can compromised and have it sooner than 14 months after reviewing your finances more closely. Good luck and hope that everything turns out for the best.
    Svetlana98usa

    Answer by Svetlana98usa at 6:18 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I am right there with you momma...this feeling isn't going away no matter how hard I try to make it. We are in a 2 bedroom home that we are buying but having a lil financial trouble, but I feel we could have another baby and be totally fine. We had our first one and then my husband didn't have a job for half the year and made it just fine. Hang in there and the time will come for you hopefully.
    leann74016

    Answer by leann74016 at 7:42 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I agree mama, that if you wait for finances and moving you'll NEVER do it. We have a 2 BR town home. This place isn't getting sold for YEARS thanks to the market. We had baby #2 in May. Everything IS going fine. Our biggest thing was not wanting a huge age gap. DD is 4 now.

    KairisMama

    Answer by KairisMama at 9:49 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

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