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4 Bumps

how would you feel?

My boynd has taken 3 weeks off from his regular job to work harvest (In Maine harvesting potatoes). In the rain they don't dig. Well the last time it rained he didn't come home right off he hung out with his buddy for 4 hours until he came home. Well today I am so excited cause it rained and well I got out of work at 1:30 and it was raining well its now 4:00 and he still isn't home. The last time I said something about him not coming home he said there was no big deal. He hasn't even called me to tell me where he is or anything. I hope you don't think I am jI just being controlling but we have two children together and he hasn't seen them all week! I just don't know what to say to him I guess. Last time I told him there was no need for it and he said that its not a big deal. How would you feel:

Answer Question
 
mommyof2_1989

Asked by mommyof2_1989 at 4:14 PM on Oct. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (347 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I would feel really annoyed and a little hurt. It's ridiculous that he hasn't seen his children in a week. You don't sound controlling to me, you just sound like you miss him and would really like to spend some time with him. I could only imagine how your kids feel. Sounds like you just need to talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel. Good luck.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 4:16 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Me personally..............

    I would tell him how I honestly felt.

    If I didn't like it, I would tell him so and why.
    If I felt he needed to spend that time with his children. I would tell him so and why.
    If I had an issue with it, and didn't want him to do it.. I would tell him so and why.

    My husband can not respect my feelings, my wishes, my wants, my needs, or anything else.. If I don't honestly share with him what they are.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:17 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I think I would be hurt if he didnt come home. But if you trust him and all that isnt an issue. Then you could just ask him if he could let you know when it rains when you could expect him. Let him know you were excited about seeing him and then you didnt get to. Let him know it makes you feel unloved maybe he will try harder. If he knows how you feel. But remember Men think differently then we do. He say it as down time with his buddy. He doesn't look at how it would affect you or the kids. But be sure to let him know gently. Or he will get defensive.
    martinmommy26

    Answer by martinmommy26 at 4:21 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • My husband works 80 hours a week. If he is not at work, he better be at home with the kids. I would be mad. I think they need free time with friends and he will get that after he spends more time with us.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 4:40 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Have another talk and maybe work something out like don't go over 2 hours or everyother time they get a break he can hang out. I would be annoyed.
    whoreallycares

    Answer by whoreallycares at 4:55 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Maybe its the way your going about it that makes him feel as if its no big deal that he's not coming home after being gone a whole week. Then again, there maybe something preventing him from wanting to come home immediately.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:12 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I agree, I would be annoyed. But, on the other hand, are you expecting him to read your mind ? Did you tell him you were going to take off of work early ? If he knew you would take off, then yes, be annoyed. Otherwise, how is he supposed to know you were going to take off early. Not wanted to take his side if he is off doing something he shouldn't be, but don't bust his balls for not being there when he doesn't know you are going to be there !!!
    JustMyOpinion22

    Answer by JustMyOpinion22 at 5:22 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • It sounds like whatever he is doing is more important than coming home to his girlfriend and kids. Maybe you need to figure out why you are his girlfriend and not his wife.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:20 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Let him know it's a big deal to you. There is no reason you should dread rainy days because of his behavior. You need to hash out these issues now because they won't get better with marriage.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 6:36 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

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