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7 Bumps

My mother still talks to the idiot that tried to molest me as a child........

I'm pushing 50 years of age. I was recently at my mom's house. I was in her kitchen putting away groceries when her phone rang. She chatted and laughed for a few then said "I have to go-my daughter is here". She then said "Yes, I'll tell her you said hi. I asked her who was telling me hi-when she mentioned the guy's name I was like "WTH"? I asked her why was she still in contact with the guy that tried unsuccessfully several times to molest me (he first came at me when I was around 11 and my mom believed him over me each time). She said I was a pretty wild child (Duh! you let a guy keep coming over that tried to molest me when your back is turned) and she thought I was lying. Although it happened in the 70's and the guy is a pathetic old man now-she says she feels sorry for him-he has no friends or family. Am I wrong to be mad at my mom? Should I just let it go? I'm so pissed at her right now, I don't know what to do.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Oct. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • I feel for you. I would be mad at my mom as well. I don't have advice for you, just encouragement.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 8:30 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I would be furious! I'm sorry you had to experience this.
    gratefulangel77

    Answer by gratefulangel77 at 8:30 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I'm sorry and no, you are not wrong IMO.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 8:31 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • If my mom did that to me I would have never talked to her again. As a mom you always believe your child. Your child is your life and you protect that child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • well, I'm in a situation where after years of doing all I could to 'let it go' that all my life my other has tried to convince me that the hitting and other abuse I took 'never happened' in spite of the fact that at least a few of the times she took me to the doctor about it, then yelled at my father for injuring me.

    my sister beat me up a few years ago, my mother stood right there and watched it all.
    her latest version of it is 'you must have fallen into a chair'
    after months of either telling me she 'didn't want to talk about it' or 'it never happened'
    I have medical reports, and what my brother says about it since he's the one that pulled my sister off of me.

    They go into denial.

    maybe they think they were responsible, so they go into denial to deal.
    Sorry, but Truth likely is she didn't believe you the&she doesn't believe you now.
    it's not your fault. you know the truth.
    cont-
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:35 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • if she faced the truth that this happened then she'd have to face the fact that she couldn't protect you, and that is probably more than she can handle.

    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:36 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • have you asked her flat out why she still talks to someone that did this to you?
    maybe that would help you make your decision on the matter.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:38 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • *jaw drop*
    If you were younger I'd probably have different advice but I assume your mom is pretty old. It's not worth spending her old age fighting with her about it. She is obviously in the wrong - no doubt. But if she doesn't see it and refuses to acknowledge your feelings there isn't much you can do.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 8:38 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • It is a hard decision because you cannot and should not break ties with your mother. The fact that she did not believe you then is probably proof that she still does not believe you. It is hurtful for her to do such a thing. As far as the man goes try within your heart to forgive him. Holding on to bitterness and anger will only hurt you. From your post your have no contact with him. Keep it that way,I'm sure you will.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 8:53 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I'd be mad at my mom, too. I'm so sorry.....
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 8:56 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

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