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6 Bumps

treating me this way....

I know this is wrong in every way possible but it seems that no matter how my boyfriend treats me I still love him. He calls me a bitch, fat, stupid. Tell's me that my mother is retarted (which she does have issues but seriously that hurts my feelings), tells me that if he leaves he will get our kids cause I have a dumb family, Everytime I tell him how I feel he leaves so I try to stop him by taking the keys away from him and end up getting hit. I just don't know what makes me want him. I feel like I am addicted to him.... I have been with him since I was 15 I am now 21 and I had my first baby with him when I was 16. He is 22. I now have two kids with him second one was born when Iwas 19. I just don't know what to do. Everyone says leave him, but I feel like I have an issue.... How do I get away!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on Oct. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • I would go to a womans shelter, with your kids, I know it is hard to leave because they make you feel like you did something to deserve it. I hope you can get out now before he takes things out on the kids as well, it is horrible he does thing to you. Please get help, from one battered woman (who left) to another!
    TynTuckersMom

    Answer by TynTuckersMom at 8:38 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • You need to put your foot down and not tolerate it anymore, that's how. Women tend to settle and just want to be loved, no matter what the cost, but when tyou know who you are and how important you are, you will not settle for nonsnense and stupidity. You can do it girl, get aback bone and leave, even though you have kids with him. Men think we can't do without them too at times, so show him you "can do bad all by yourself" so to speak. I hope this helps...
    siimply_me

    Answer by siimply_me at 8:38 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • It sounds like you are sort of addicted to him......he is abusing you......by staying you are giving your children the message that this is okay behaviour.....they will very likely grow up and either become abusers themselves or have relationships where they are abused....you need to get out of there and get some serious therapy....right away...
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 8:39 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • You need counseling. Do you have the resources to get it?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:39 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Your soul is connected to this man and this has to be broken. I really don't think you know what love is, you are afraid of being along and he has probably convinced you that no one else will want you. It is not healthy for your kids. If you do not get out for yourself then it will probably have to be for your kids. As well it is not healthy for your kids to witness your behavior, I pray to God you have no daughters because she will definitely act toward men the way you are teaching her. Best believe he will eventually start to degrade and insult your children before you learn your lesson. I hope you get counseling for you and your children.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 8:44 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • You are basically going through battered womens syndrome. You need help. Counseling definately. I was in a similar situation for seven years and one day, I let him leave and never looked back. Sadly, he tried but I refused. You have to be strong for your kids. You need to stand your ground and tell him what needs to change or take your children and leave. Think about how they will feel and act as they get older being in this situation.
    katcb1019

    Answer by katcb1019 at 8:46 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • will any of these friends help you get out?
    you can ask them- I'd start there.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:52 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • It sounds like you are being emotionally abused. See a counselor. It will help you.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 8:56 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Just let me say the sooner you get out the better and the chances are that if you dont your kids wwill resent you. Im not speaking from being in an abusive relationship im speaking from being a kid with a mother in one. The longer you stay with him the harder it will be to leave. You need to do it for your kids I hate my dad dor seeing what he did to mom I actully got him sent to prison for it when i was 6 but it still didnt stop. I love my mom but I hate that she is with my dad he still beats her to this day and know my 4 year old sister is stuck growing up the way I did. It is a very hard thing to do I know I have seen it plenty but if you dont you and your kids will be miserble. He is likely to also beat the kids when they get older my dad started hitting me when ever I turned 10. I know you dont want that or your kids. Go to a womens shelter get a restraining order and full custody of the kids. Yall are in my prayers.
    K3lly94

    Answer by K3lly94 at 8:58 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I agree, get your kids and go to a DV shelter, it is hard to leave I know but look at it this way do you really want your kids to grow up thinking this is ok ? Talking to a DV councelor will help you sort through the feelings and help you let go of him and move on.
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 9:02 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

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