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What is a good way to start trusting someone who has let you down.

A boyfriend and I have been on again off again for the last 3 years. I am having a hard time believing things he tells me because he has lied so much in the past. He has been in theray and put on medication for his condition, but am I just being stupid thinking things will be different or am I being unfair by not at least giving him the chance to showed me he has changed?

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terilm39

Asked by terilm39 at 10:31 PM on Oct. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • I am trying to learn to trust my husband...I need advice on this also.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 10:33 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • It is up to him to prove himself to be trustworthy.....he should never presume your trust, and be willing to be held accountable....and take it very slowly......and let him know ahead of time that if he screws up you are out of there....and if he does, follow through......if he is truly changing, then he will understand that this is the consequences of his past and that if you are to have a future together it is going to take a lot of hard work...accept nothing less......work with a counselor if you can...forgiveness has to be part of the process too....but that is a process also and doesn't happen overnight, nor should it.....it is something to work towards rather than be an instant thing....respect yourself first.....best wishes to you...
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 10:45 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I think that it would probably be best to move on.
    I went out with a guy that lied out of both ends of his mouth. Lies he truly believed.
    he had a problem that required medication too, but sometimes he would go off the meds.

    problem or not, I wouldn't believe that guy if he said water was wet.
    that's no way to try to have a relationship, and it's no way to live.
    heck, I came across his facebook, and he has himself listed as being widowed!
    I've got it on good authority that his wife is very much alive.
    sorry to have to be the one to tell you, but whether you decide to part ways or not, it's only a matter of time before he'd probably tell horrible lies about you if he's anything like my ex.
    you have a right to a good life, please don't wait to start living it.
    I did, thought that it was my responsibility to fix the man I love.
    all it resulted into was a lot of lost time.




    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

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