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what do you think?

We have been in our house for almost 4 years now.. (hubby 4 me 1) not planning on staying in this house when we can get enough credit to get our own place along with other reasons.. we havent switched it to our name.. (plus his dad wants it left in his name... old family house) and his dad said that if we do change our mind to stay here.. when its paid off he will let us put it in our name.. ANYWAY.. the house is in his dads name.. but we pay it all. Mortgage.. taxes.. lights.. gas.. EVERYTHING not a single thing does his dad pay.. yet I hate living here for this reason.. I HAVE NO PRIVACY.. his dad will just walk in.. whenever he wants.. whether we are here or not. whether i just got out of shower or not.. AND he will go into our bedroom.. he will move things around.. take stuff out. etc. do i have the right to feel like this is an invasion of privacy and very disrespectful even though its in his name?

 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 10:48 PM on Oct. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • This is the same if you were renting a home from a stranger. The landlord does not have right to enter your home without your permission unless there is an emergency or maitenence that needs to be done. Even when maitenence there is a thin line about whether they can just walk in. However, his father cannot just walk into the home, because you are residing there. Put your bounderies out there and let him know he is crossing the line.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:28 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I think you have a right to feel that way. I'm kind of in the same situation, only it's my dad that owns our house. He comes around fairly often, but he doesn't really go messing around in our things, and I don't think he's EVER been in our bedroom! In all actuality, you're his tenants, and he has to give you notice before he enters the house. Maybe have your hubby talk to him and let him know a heads-up would be appreciated before he shows up, and you would like certain areas of the home to remain private and if he needs something from one of those areas (for whatever reason he may have) he needs to ask you.
    TwinMomma122304

    Answer by TwinMomma122304 at 10:57 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Absolutely, if the house is occupied by someone then he should respect that. Tell him you feel uneasy with him just walking in whenever and going through your things. I don't understand why he should get offended.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 11:06 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • No matter who's name is on the title... you are entitled to your privacy of you and your family. That is very rude and I cannot believe he feels comfortable even doing so without knocking or a call. You pay rent... so technically that is YOUR house right now. You just don't OWN it.

    Good luck!!
    MeghMirab

    Answer by MeghMirab at 11:27 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • It is similar to you paying rent. FIL is liable. Did he own before your husband moved in? Was there a down payment? Rent is usually greater than mortgage, taxes, insurance. Utilities are usually paid by the renter.
    Coming in whenever is another problem. Your husband should deal with this.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:55 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Despite the fact you are paying for everything, the house is in his dad's name and there is nothing you can do about that. Would he still be able to live and pay all the bills if he were all alone? The way I see it, if you want your privacy, you need to get your own place.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 11:52 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Whether you are paying the mortgage and all or renting, you still are entitled to your privacy. Husband should say something to his father and let him know you will be moving if it does not stop. Maybe even change the locks to show him you are serious ! Then move when you are able. (Hopefully you are writing the taxes and interest off your taxes, if you are paying them directly - no matter whose name is on the house, you are entitled to claim those as deductions !!)
    JustMyOpinion22

    Answer by JustMyOpinion22 at 8:34 AM on Oct. 17, 2010