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would you say something?

ok.. when i was raised.. i was raised that if someone makes a smart comment to their spouse.. (such as well you didnt do what i asked today..) or whatever it may be.. no one else should say anything to either of them.. even if they made the comment in front of you.. now my husband feels COMPLETELY different. apparently if you say something to someone in front of someone or where someone else can hear.. it makes it their business. now this being said. If i say anything his parents feel they need to comment. but his parents ARGUE ALL THE TIME.. and i never say anything bc its not my business.. and it would be rude of me to inject my opinion or side in their disagreements.. and (as i have seen done to others to make the mistake) if i chose to say something taking sides or not. i would be told not to talk to him/her like that and that it was not my business. why do they feel that its ok? and why wont my hubby make them stop?


Asked by Ross2010 at 10:56 PM on Oct. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Generally people who do one thing of that nature don't like it being done to them. They do it because they like to have their nose in the grind of it all, but they don't want people sticking their nose in their's. When someone is arguing in front of you that doesn't make it your business unless they personally bring you into the argument. You are still a background spectator to the situation and that doesn't give you any right to inject your opinion. The only case where I can see this happening is with close friends or family, and there might be some leeway in interjecting your opinion. However, in reality even with that situation it isn't your business and you shouldn't step in.

    Now if you go up to one or the other later and ask them to talk about it that's another story. That's you being concerned or whatever. But all in all if you're not brought into it, then stay out of it.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:25 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Because he has been taught to be respectful to his parents. Together you should keep your remarks out of their hearing.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:01 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Can't change people. It is rude of them. My only suggestion is to simply not argue in front of them. Just don't give them a reason to comment.

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 11:01 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I feel your husband has no business, telling his parents to stop arguing and neither do you. IMO

    Answer by my2kids312 at 11:02 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • so he has been taught to be repectful to his parents but they shouldnt respect him and his family? also i have no concern of them arguing and i rarely argue in front of them.. its more of a i get mad bc we have plans yet his dad thrusts his plans into our day.. EVERDAY.. and when he says something like did you pull something out for dinner i simply say did you do what i asked you to do?? not really arguing just letting him know that 4 hours of our only day to do stuff has been wasted on something that it didnt need it to be and his dad comments he has been helping ME do something that I needed to do.. and thats OK.. excuse me but in ALL honesty i dont care if he helps you but HIS FAMILIES needs should come first not your "project" that doesnt need to be done.. we had things that we HAD to do today and yet didnt get dont bc you decided to just show up.. i dont feel that his dad should have opened his mouth

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 11:11 PM on Oct. 15, 2010