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2 Bumps

Should my hubby get involved?

My husband and I recently heared that his brother was going threw some "issues" with his wife. They have had a rocky marriage for years but just recently in the past year it has gotten worse. My husbands sister finds it nessesary to tell the whole family EVERYTHING about what's going on. (The wife gets everyone involved in there marriage). Anyway, she (the sister) told my father in law that my husbands brother has been drinking more than usual. I told my husband he should call and talk to him and let him know that he will be there for him if he needs him. Here's the biggie, neither one of these boys are big fans of there sister, and with the exception of me and my hubby they all live in the same town. If I had to live there with them and be married to this woman I would have to drink also, they all just gang up on him. So what does he do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Oct. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I usually stay out of messes like this.
    MissAlisabeth

    Answer by MissAlisabeth at 12:08 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Could he possibly talk to his sister, and advise her?
    blessedwithree

    Answer by blessedwithree at 12:14 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I think you have a good idea.... I would encourage my husband to also call and let the brother know he's there for him. But ultimately, hubby will have to make that decision. Good luck!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:20 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Pray about it and only say nice things. If you get involved and start talking about this one or that one, feelings will get hurt causing resentment, etc. Rocky marriages are tricky and everyone has an opinion but only the ones who are actually behind closed doors know what's really going on. Let them figure it out and resolve the marriage either by working it out or getting divorced. Of course hubby can offer support to his brother and be there for him. :)
    carol2m2

    Answer by carol2m2 at 12:33 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • its always good to know that someone is there... also tell your hubby to be a good listener lol.. i know when i need to talk.. its good to have someone to listen and respond.. not someone to say yea.. yea yea lol
    Ross2010

    Answer by Ross2010 at 12:35 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • maybe she's looking for help.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:41 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • sounds like marital issue and other than advising the brother and his wife to get counseling i think your hubby needs to stay out of it......think of it this way if your hubby gets involved and they stay together the brother is going to hate hubbby for getting in the middle......they just need to seek counseling for thier own issues and hubby needs to just be a brother to his brother not the keeper.....
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:34 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • If your DH and his Bro are close then he most certainly should get involved. Not get in his business but help him out. Alcoholism is a very serious issue it can cost him not only his health but probably his job. Talk to your husband and see if he (and you) would want to spend at least a few days with his brother there where you are.Get him out of that surrounding. See if the brother and your hubby can take a couple of days off, allow the brother to visit and spend some time with people who are positive and care for him and his well being. Knowing that your husband is there for him is good but if the situation is that intense then removed him for a minute and this way the two of them can have a man to man and some guy time. This should at least help him get his mind somewhat clear to begin working out a way back to some sanity.
    Cheveyo1

    Answer by Cheveyo1 at 11:10 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

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