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3 Bumps

Would this be ok?

My husbands sister is 15.. she is not a bad kid (mostly stays home watching cartoons,etc) but she is very disrespecctful to her parents and does NOT listen to them.. I have never said anything but I dont want my children to think it is ok to ignore me or to tell me no, etc. so i want to know that if they are at my house.. and they tell her to do something and she doesnt (and they do the usual and let her do as she wants) do i have the right to say something? for ex. the other day my 3 yr old was on ther trampoline and my sil (15 yr old) got on it also.. my mil told her to take her shoes off and my sil replies with no, i think i am just going to leave them on.. my mil says alright then.. could i say no, if you cant take your shoes off like you were asked then you can get off the trampoline.. i dont want to cross the line but it kills me to watch her disobey them EVERYDAY and even more when in front of my children

 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 12:19 AM on Oct. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Yes, I think you would be perfectly fine to say that. If asked why you are 'interfering just say that at your house children are expected/required to respect parents/authority figures.
    blessedwithree

    Answer by blessedwithree at 12:21 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • BUT LOL the trampoline part is BS, you tell her to get the hell off it if she can't respect you in your home!!
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:24 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I think you need to discuss this with her parents and tell them that you dont want her influencing your children and that you're not going to accept it. If they dont like it, don't bring her around them. When it comes to your kids, you have to be tough!
    an-apple-a-day

    Answer by an-apple-a-day at 12:20 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • i would have said something- i mean it is your trampoline and your house. Your MIL is probably just to the point where she would rather give in than deal with her because it is easier- not right but easier. Im sure she would not really mind you saying something to her. my sister is the same way and my mom is actually THANKFUL when i say somethign to her. i go to the point of even telling her to watch how she is talking (course it is my sister.) but i dont see why she would get mad at your saying something about things like that. Maybe your DH could say something to his sister when he is around and she is getting mouthy?
    MamaHardy2008

    Answer by MamaHardy2008 at 12:22 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • You are right of course, she shouldn't disrespect her parents and they should definitely demand respect. However, it is very important to know your place in situations and in this one, it is not your place to tell her what to do, especially after the parents allow it. No parent is perfect and if someone disagrees with your parenting, you wouldn't want them to over-step your decisions with your children. No one wants to be told how to raise their child, and it will only cause resentment from your in-laws and nothing good could come from it. As it relates to your own children, they will witness a lot of different people in the world, both personally and out in the community. Use it as a learning lesson after the inlaws leave to discuss disrespect and obedience and expectations you have for them. Hope this helps! :)
    carol2m2

    Answer by carol2m2 at 12:27 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • This is typical teenager behavior, and very common between child and parent, especiallly at this age. Teenagers aren't that easy to deal with. I would stay out of it. I highly doubt your child will copy her. My children see "naughty kids" all the time. They know that doesn't fly with me. I would stay out of it, because you would be upset if your child disobeyed you and someone else jumped in.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:23 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • When other peoples children act up I talk about their behavior with my kids later. Ask them what they thought of the situation and then tell them how the child should have acted and praise them for being good. I think if you talk to your kids and let them know that her parents failed to respond properly, they will understand that it does not give them a pass to act up. If they do just do your thing and they'll see you will not put up with it.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 2:44 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

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