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2 Bumps

Weird?!?!?!

I LOVE my husbands family.. but they drive me ABSOLUTELY NUTS. i cant take it (at the moment) they are disrespectful ALL the time.. ALWAYS in our business.. ALWAYS pushing themselves into our plans for the day and either makes it where we dont accomplish everything or anything at all that NEEDS to be done. my husband doesnt understand and he doenst try to. i dont know what i could do. if anything to make our family seperate from his.. i want to be apart of it but i want to have our own small family life.. and have each other's back, side, etc when it comes to anyone else in the world. i dont feel like i am gettin this from him and he doesnt make the effort to improve on anything i ask him to (like taking my back, telling his parents that we have plans of our own and we cant spend EVERYDAY with them and doing what they want.) :( very upset

 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 12:30 AM on Oct. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Hubby doesn't seem to have left home yet, he brought it with him! You need separate quality family time while the kids are growing up. Don't they have other children they can go and bother?
    jackdaw

    Answer by jackdaw at 8:27 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • just tell them you have plans. im sure they would understand. they might not realize they are being disrespectful. as for your husband he is probably used to it since he grew up in it. as hard as it is somethimes we the wives have to be the ones to open our mouths to the inlaws- as much as we dont want to.
    MamaHardy2008

    Answer by MamaHardy2008 at 12:33 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Wow! I feel like I wrote this! I know exactly how you feel! My in-laws are the same way!! They are always in our business, telling us what we should and should not spend our money on, always calling and blowing up our phones, always showing up at our house unexpected or uninvited. Whenever we have days off they think that we need to be spending it with them! I would love to be able to move far far far away from them to be honest! I have tried telling them over and over that they need to back off. My husband doesn't back me up either! He just kind of sits back and lets it happen! Ugh! I know what you mean and how you feel! I dont really have any advice for you b/c im still trying to figure out what to do myself! :( sorry hope everything gets better and hopefully they will back off!!
    anglebaby10810

    Answer by anglebaby10810 at 12:36 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Yea i know what you mean! My in-laws live 30 mins away and if they call our phones and we don't answer, you better believe they will be knocking on our door in 30 mins!! I tell them over and over until im blue in the face that they need to back off and they dont need to nag us everyday! They just ignore me and do what THEY want to do! They could care less about how we feel about them! My parents are totally different then his parents! My parents will call just to say hi, how are you. but they never just come over whenever they want or anything! I feel for you! Its like "Everybody Loves Raymond" Thats who my inlaws remind me of!
    anglebaby10810

    Answer by anglebaby10810 at 12:48 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • YEP!! leave him alone with mummy & daddy for awhile, while you & the kids go do what YOU would like to do together! Hubby will get the message, believe me. He wont want to be stuck trying to entertain his parents by himself for very long. And just maybe it will give him some insight on how YOU feel, when he sticks you with doing the entertaining the way he's been doing. Stop changing your plans, or plans you made with your kids, just because your in-laws show up! it isnt fair to yourself or to the kids! you need to show your in-laws you arent going to put up with their intrusiveness anymore. IMO, each time your husband allows his parents to do this, he is being disrespectful & inconsiderate to you & his children. He needs to learn that his wife & children come first, but if HE wont put you & his kids first, then YOU do it.
    RubyinPA

    Answer by RubyinPA at 6:36 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • GL to you also. i would LOOOOOOOVE to move as far away as possible.. and the sad thing is.. they live LESS than 5 min away.. i want to cry when i see that damn truck coming down our road.. like WTF cant i have any day without you people in it..
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 12:39 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • When you have plans and they home in and he does not take your back take your children and yourself out. To a movie, zoo, lunch, anywhere. After a few times of leaving him with them maybe he will get the message. Your family is very important and you should have time together without others just inviting themselves in. If they can't respect that then be polite and keep it moving when they are around
    Cheveyo1

    Answer by Cheveyo1 at 2:54 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • jackdaw.. they have one other son who lives like 2 hours away and barely comes for visits. he loves his parents but he cut the cord a long time ago. My hubby wasnt ever all about going to his parents etc etc (or it didnt seem like it).. until about a year ago and now its not really him.. its THEM.. they just show up... ALL the time uninvited unannounced etc. they also have a 15 year old (daughter/grand-daughter that they have been legal guardian to since she was 5 weeks old.. but they NEVER do anything with her. when she isnt at school she is in her bedroom the ENTIRE TIME.) i would think they would focus on getting her out and about more... or into something other 15 year olds like to do but they are content on doing their thing and letting her stay in her room 24/7. and their thing has become us obviously.. NOT a single day goes by that they dont just show up.. and if we arent home they call and ask where we are
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 1:55 PM on Oct. 16, 2010