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My mother won't stop smoking around my daughter

Ive tried every way possible to address this issue, and she always gets mad at me or it turns into an arguement and we never get anywhere!! I barely go to her house and dont let her watch my daughter like ever unless its a complete emergency... Well Im having my second daughter on Monday and my mom is the only person I have to watch my daughter during my hospital stay... I don't want to stress the whole time im in the hospital knowing my mother is basically smoking in my 2 yr olds face... I don't know what else i can say or do to make her not smoke around my child... Ive tried everything since the day my daughter was born (2yrs ago) & nothing ever changes!! what should I do?!

Answer Question

Asked by xtatianax at 7:26 AM on Oct. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (460 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • If your mother was not around, you would find someone else to watch your child.
    It might cost you, but if your child's health is important you might just have to spend the money.
    You are not going to be able to control your mother's smoking. She cannot control it herself.
    Take it upon yourself to solve the problem.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:55 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • My DD is expecting twins in July and I have stopped smoking so I can be around those precious babies. It has been almost 2 weeks now that I haven't smoked, so by the time they arrive I should be over the worst part in quitting. I don't know why your mom wouldn't at least stop smoking in front of your baby. Is there someone that you trust close to you that you could get to watch your little girl?


    Answer by zbee at 8:20 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • hooray for zbee!!!!!

    if you truly don't know anyone else and you really have to have your mother watch your dd, then maybe you could buy her a smokeless ashtray.

    if it is that important to you, then you really need to start meeting other people and/ or start saving in advance for babysitting services.
    good luck!

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 8:32 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • don't ya have like a sil or sister around? or even a brother or aunt? I wouldn't let her watch her either 2nd hand smoke is more dangerous than 1st hand. I think from me being around 2nd hand smoke from my dad that's why I have a bad post nasal drip also whenever I get a cold it gets 10 times worse than it should.

    Answer by chica679 at 10:37 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • There should not be any fighting anymore she knows how you feel so now let your feet do the talking, just pick up you child and walk out.

    Answer by gammie at 11:32 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • You HAVE to find someone else to watch your daughter. Tell your mom that if she doesn't smoke outside and away from your daughter, she won't see her. I'm a smoker too, but I respect the wishes of others and don't smoke around them if it bothers them. Can any of your friends watch her??

    Answer by _Tam_ at 12:24 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Either stop bringing here there or stop trying to get her to stop smoking. If she doesn't want to stop she won't. Obviously she doesn't see it as a problem.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:48 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • My mother is the only person I have in this state. I moved here to be closer to her because she begged me too... so no, i dont have a sil or a friend which is why im asking what i should do. I dont care that she smokes i just dont want it to be in my house (or hers) when my daughter is under her care...thats why i said, I NEVER let my mom watch her as much as I know how much she loves my daughter, she just doesnt see smoking around her as being an issue. But in this case i literally have NO CHOICE but to leave her with my mom whilei go to the hospital to have my second daughter. Ilove my mother to death but this is one thing that is really hurting our relationship.

    Comment by xtatianax (original poster) at 3:24 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Find someone else to watch your child while you are in the hospital.....put your foot down with your mom .....tell her it isn't a moral issue, it is one of health......that she will not smoke around your child....if she gets mad, let her.....don't allow her anger to manipulate you....then, only allow her around your child when you are there...if she smokes get up with your child and leave the room (if it is your house), or the building (if it is anywhere else) . Tell her you love her, but be firm.....and tell her it is not up for discussion and be firm....

    Answer by Anna92464 at 6:16 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

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