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what do you do if you have some fight with your husband do you do infront of you r children

my daughter is 3 yr old and says is daddy mad at you???.
when his daddy does not talk to me then she says why is your daddy not talking to you???what do I do??

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asatyal

Asked by asatyal at 9:13 AM on Oct. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • We try to keep it civil. But if my child asked me that, I'd say, "Daddy needs a breather. People who love each other fight sometimes. Sometimes you get mad at Mommy, right? Well, so does Daddy. And that doesn't mean we don't love each other, it just means we're having a fight now. Then we'll get over it and we'll be okay." Explain that fights can seem worse than they are, but they don't end a relationship. It's good for her to see that SOME conflict is normal in a relationship. Then she won't freak out later in life when she fights with her boyfriend and think that mean they're over.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 9:20 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • We do our best not to fight in front of our kids. They pick up on more than we realize. If we are disagreeing about something, we wait until we are alone or keep it civil. If thats not possible, we just both shut up.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 10:34 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • i see both sides of this. For us we have had fights infront of our kids an we also let them see us kiss and makeup. To me that is the key reassuring them that mom n dad are ok. Now if the kid starts running an hiding bcuz of fighting/ arguing then things hav gone too far. An for me i think it is unrealistic to expect not to argue infront of your kids at some point.
    firewife1

    Answer by firewife1 at 11:01 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • "Mommy and Daddy had a disagreement and Daddy needs to cool off for a little while."
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 11:54 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • We don't fight in front of the kids, I think it changes so much about them and the stability they deserve to feel. But they can know when we are not getting along, and I just tell them that Mommy/Daddy needs a time out, like you do sometimes. Usually that ends it.
    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 12:29 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • "Mommy and daddy are mad at each other right now but that's ok because we love each other and we love you. We just need to relax and then we will be happy again."

    Just explain in a kid way that people argue and she'll argue with people in the future and it's not the end of the world. Obviously try not to scream and name call in front of her but fights do happen in front of kids. If you all live in one house they are bound to hear and see something.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:44 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • We do disagree and discuss things in front of our children. We don't scream and throw things (even when the children aren't around, it's not who we are). But it's the day to day stuff (dirty socks in the floor etc). But when we have heavy stuff to discuss it's after the children go to bed. I think you need to explain to your dh that his childish silent treatment is affecting your ds! My children see us get angry then hug and make up. Your ds needs to see this, even if your dh has to fake it, just to make your ds feel secure. I read a study once that children who never saw their parents argue had difficulties in their own relationships because they feel it's not "normal" to be angry.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:44 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

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