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Ugh. Mother-in-law

My son is almost 5 months old and every weekend, saturday or sunday, he goes to my mother in law's house while DH and I are at work. The problem is, she has 5 dogs, 4 cats, and a prarie dog. Their house is always a mess and a lot of the time there is dog poop on the floor. The last 3 times my son has come home congested with a stuffy nose that lasts at least 3-4 days so by the time he's getting better, he goes back over. Is there any way to tell if a baby this young has allergies? Is there anything I can do to help him? I've tried just not working weekends but then she gets upset that she never gets to see him. what do I do?????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Oct. 27, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (9)
  • Yes it is possible that your baby can have allergies. You should talk to your Mother in law explain to her what the problem is, if she can't accept that then it's her loss on seeing her grandchild, your child shouldn't suffer if she can't prepare for the visit
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 11:40 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • I would tell her if she wants to see her grandbaby then she needs to clean up her house first. There is no way I would let my baby on the floor or even the furniture of someones house that obviously doesn't keep it clean. I have 5 cats in my house but my litter boxes are cleaned regularly and my floors and furniture vaccumed consistently. And the feces on the floor is concerning. Depending on the amount and how often she really cleans her floors ( i am talking a good cleaning, not just wipe it up) that could be a health risk for you baby. It is not sanitary to anyone let alone a small baby with sensitive immune system. Make her clean it up to where you are comfortable or else she can't have him. I don't know how to tell if it is allergies but if she cleans things up and gets the old dander out of her house and he gets better than you will know.
    naturalhome

    Answer by naturalhome at 11:42 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Well, she always cleans when she knows ahead of time that he's coming but sometimes we don't know until the last minute and last week she told me "the bottom of his socks are a bit dirty because I didn't get a chance to vaccuum" well the bottom of his socks were BLACKKKKK!!!! I don't want to be mean to her but seriously.....last week she gave him a bath and used BAR SOAP. WTF is wrong with that??? she had 3 kids...shouldnt she know this stuff???
    AidensMommy608

    Answer by AidensMommy608 at 11:46 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Umm... ok, the best thing that you can do is to make sure your child is not exposed to allergens, especially in these criticle first years. The more that you expose your child to these things, the more likely the reactions will become more severe. Maybe aske your mother in law if she would mind comming to your home to watch her grandchild for a few weekends to see if your babys congestions clears up, then you will be able to better asses the situtation.
    LuvOurLittleMan

    Answer by LuvOurLittleMan at 11:47 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • My MIL is sorta the same way. She only has one dog and hes really mean but she lets him poo everywhere since shes to lazy to take him out. And shes not a great house keeper anyway. I told my husband when we found out I was pregnant that our child was not going over there if she continued to live like that. Well she still lives like that and I don't let my daughter over there AT ALL. My MIL is really mad at me and my husband gets mad about it to. But it is my responsibility just like it is every mothers to make sure my kids are as safe as they can be. Poop on the floor is NOT safe. I mean what happened if she turned her back for a second and the baby stuck poop in their mouth ? YUCK ! I'm not saying the way i'm doing it works for everyone but its what I'm comfortable with.
    HeartsNRoses

    Answer by HeartsNRoses at 11:54 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • I think having her watching your baby @ your home is the best and only safe way(suggestion of LoveOurLittleMan)!!! Good luck..MILs can be tough to handle..I know!
    bamsmama23

    Answer by bamsmama23 at 12:00 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I also agree with having her watch him at your house. I'm not quite sure how to deal with MILs. I have one of my own and whenever I tell her my rules her feelings get her and she starts a war. Once she asked me if MYYYY son could call HER momma. I told her that I thought it was rude that she asked, and a little nuts... and she got my FIL chewing my butt. Which I think is ridiculous. Me and my husband call her Grandmonster or The Beast cuz she's nuts... haha. Anywayyyy, I just went on and on, huh? Sorry about that. LoveOurLilMan has the best solution I think. Unless maybe you want to try talking to her, and tell her that he way of raising kids isn't wrong. It's just you have a different idea of how they should be raised. And you would very much appreciate it if she would do things closer to what you, yourself would do.
    AndreaDawn1984

    Answer by AndreaDawn1984 at 1:17 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • If there's feces on the floor, it's not a safe environment for a child who is probably picking toys up off the unsanitary floor and putting them in his mouth, as all children do. That issue would concern me LONG before the alergen issue. I wouldn't want my children in that environment at all. Now factor in the possible allergens, and his reaction when he gets home, and I wouldn't enter the house without a HAZMAT suit. :(
    3maniacsmom

    Answer by 3maniacsmom at 11:25 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • WOW.. I'm glad I am not the only one with MIL dirty house syndrome. Oh I cant STAND her filthy house. She smokes like a chimney and I swear she uses the vaccuum and mop once a month. I cannot even fathom putting my child on the floor in her house. And she doesnt even have any pets!! I think she got the hint, because she comes to our house to babysit and see the baby now.
    ZoeKatsMom

    Answer by ZoeKatsMom at 12:39 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

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