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6 Bumps

If you knew one of your friends/family had an affair on their spouse......

Would you inform the spouse? What would you do? Ignore it or butt in?


Asked by mommy_of_two388 at 12:44 PM on Oct. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 43 (154,356 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • Me personally.

    Not ground I choose to tread on. Here's why. 1) I have no true idea of what is going on in the marriage ( I have friends that are okay with their spouse cheating)...2) I have no idea what the spouse may or may not already know..3) I have know idea if they want to know (some don't want to konw)..3) I have no idea if it is a dealbreaker in that marriage or not.. much less if it's even an issue).. 4) how another couple handles their marriage and the issues in that marriage are none of my business or concern. 5) If it is someone who is close to me, I would not want to be involved in either the reconcilliation or disssolution of their marriage. Therefore I would not place myself in the middle of that. Being the messenger would place me right in the middle. And let's face it, how many spouses take out all their feelings about such an issue on everyone else and not the culprit themselves.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:35 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • It depends on the relationship I had with the family member. No one needs me to get caught if they are doing something they shouldn't. And it usually ends with both people mad at you in the end.....

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:50 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • If it was a close friendship, I would speak out just as I would like the friend to speak out to me, if they knew of an affair my hubby was having.

    Answer by older at 12:50 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • bumped ya!

    Answer by older at 12:50 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • No, because I've said something before and I was the bad guy because I was a "liar". I stay out of situations like that, and it's really not my business.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 12:53 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I agree that it depends on the relationship you have with the spouse, but you better be prepared for the consequences. You could lose your friend (or family member, and there's a good chance the relationship will never stay the same. If they work through things and stay together there's even more chance that you will lose the relationship.

    On the other hand, knowing, and not telling can be a betrayal. To be honest, I'm not sure if I'd want a friend to tell me or not. I'm not sure how I would feel in the actual situation.

    Good Luck, and I'm sorry you're in such a difficult position.

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:54 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I might approach the cheater. I wish I could say I woud tell, but I know that wouldn't do any good in my family. As for a friend, I'd tell the friend, but not family. I have a more open relationship with my 2 best friends.

    Answer by dancinintherain at 12:53 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I would even it it caused a problem. I have done this for a good friend in the past and yes they were mad at me for awhile...but they eventually realized I was telling the truth and forgave me.

    Answer by ashisamom at 12:53 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • NO- i would not Butt In & tell her Spouse but, i would tell her that she " Can't Have Her Cake & Eat It Too!" i would tell her she needed to decide what she wanted- Her Husband or a Affair that is probably not going to Anything except; Ruin her Marriage!

    Answer by daisyb at 12:53 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I would tell my friend or family member that they should come clean and tell them about my experiences with a similar situation . i would tell them it is better to tell the spouse that they cheated instead of the spouse having to find out. its better to come clean.

    Answer by NaiveDream at 12:54 PM on Oct. 16, 2010