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3 Bumps

Spin off. How do you tell your loved one you had/are having an affair adult content

I've been having an affair for the past few days. My husband is away for work since there was no work here where we live. Our marriage hasn't been that great. He had an affair on me while I was pregnant and after I had our child. We never seem to get along. He has mood swings worse then a woman. He's a good man and then the next minute he's a complete prick. We seem to never get along while we are close but when ever he's gone for work we get along great through e-mail and on the phone.
My "boyfriend" makes me feel special. He makes me feel good about myself which is the opposite of my husband. We were friends years ago but he moved away and recently moved back. We just started out as friends talking and having a good time. Then one kiss lead to another. Last night was the first time it turned sexual.
I don't do anything in front of my daughter because I don't want to confuse her. Its always when she's sleeping.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Oct. 16, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I would just be up front and honest. I would either go to him or wait till he gets home and tell him in person. This isn't something to be put in a e-mail/letter or said over the phone.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:02 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • First you need to decide if this new guy is worth a divorce. Of corse he is all sweet and caring now, you are married to someone else. All the new guy has to deal with is your happy sexy side. There's no money issues, cleaning issues, period issues, or raising kid issues. The other man gets all the great you and the hubby has to put up with everything.
    My opinion is that if you can and will cheat you shouldn't be married, but JMO.

    Answer by dancinintherain at 1:07 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • You don't tell him. Unless you want a divorce. Sounds like you should just leave him anyways. By the way you talk about him and your marriage.


    Answer by louise2 at 1:08 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Why tell him? JUST LEAVE. Move on. If you tell him he can just sue you for alimony because he can prove infidelity. Even though he did it first, you best hope you have proof of that. Your marriage is screwed. Move on, and get a divorce now, before it's even messier.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:02 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • As far as suing for infidelity, that depends on where you live. Most states now have "no fault" divorce.

    However, starting a new relationship while you're married is not a great idea. Get a divorce, then move on. I don't care if your daughter is asleep, if you are carrying on this affair in your home with her there, that's irresponsible and selfish. Just my opinion of course.

    If you believe that your marriage doesn't have a chance of working, just leave. If you aren't going to leave then you shouldn't be messing around.

    As for telling him, what's your purpose? To get even? To hurt him? If he asks, don't lie, but either get marriage counseling or get a divorce.

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:08 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I think i would be up front also..i would start off by saying..look we aren't getting along it's been this way for awhile now..your not happy and im not happy so maybe we should just go our seperate ways..i would let him know you have found someone that makes you feel good and makes you really happy and im sure he sounds like he has had his own encounter's its best for you guys to just go on with your lifes and be happy instead of staying in this marriage and being miserable!

    Answer by gracelessstar21 at 1:10 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Leave him. He doesn't sound like he should be getting any husband of the year award anyways. Then tell him after the divorce papers still have the ink drying.

    Answer by Nanixh at 1:22 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I woulden't tell him. I'd just leave. No, probably not bc I'm in a similar situation. I woulden't tell him though. I'm getting ready to break up with my live in bf bc of something like this.

    Answer by Jacqui410 at 1:35 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • believe me , from expierience , DONT tell him just tell him you are not happy and leave.

    Answer by tomcatsbabygirl at 4:38 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Don't tell him if you want to leave him than tell him that ur unhappy

    Answer by lovelypisces at 5:11 PM on Oct. 16, 2010