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My 10 year old son is out of contro!

My son is constantly out of control. He gets so upset with us. The looks he gives us is heartbreaking and terriying. His eyes get so cold and looks like he really wants to harm us. He gets so upset from the smallest things. Like the other day his sister accidently hit him with her hula hoop (while hula hooping) and her chased her into the other room and was about to hit her, but before I stopped it. He is always saying its someones fault, but never taking the blame for himself. At first my DH and I thought it was just being jealous of his sisters. We try to spend equal time with each child (we have three). We are concerned that he is going to harm himself or someone else. We have tried to punish him by not allowing him to go his friends house, play games, no watching tv but nothing seems to work. The next we are right back at the battle again. Help! Suggests! Anything!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Oct. 27, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (9)
  • Take him to a child counselor. My stepson was always really mean and angry - I was afraid of him at times. We learned he ADD and is now on a non-stimulant medication and it has made a world of difference. We were reluctant to put him on meds and did a lot of research about the meds first. His behavior and the way he talks now is so much better. He is also able to focus and concentrate at school which has helped his grades

    Answer by janie-o at 12:12 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • My son is 11 years old and has Fragile X but it is like ADHD and he was put on meds. Many people are against it but I knew the hurting others and himself wasn't who my son was. I wanted to give him a chance for future. After getting him someone to talk to and getting the meds. he is now a sweet heart. I still watch him and if I see he is in a mood I talk to him. The meds. make him able to stop and think not just react.

    Answer by michellerosenj at 12:27 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • To janie-o, my son also has ADHD & ODD, what medication is your son that is a non-stimulant?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I agree w/ janie-o, get him to a counselor (maybe get some suggestions from his school guidance counselor or his pediatricain) because there may be something else going on. My 10 yr. old ds is the same way and he has adhd also. he sees a social worker for behavioral therapy as well as being on adderall. his dr. also told us that it may be the very beginning of puberty (which I was sooo not ready to hear lol) so it may be that too.if you ever need to talk, message me and I'd be glad to offer you and advice or support I can as I'm going thru it myself right now. hope this helps some, good luck.

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:34 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Talk to your doctor and they can point you in the right direction. These ladies are right, your little one needs some kind of medical intervention. Mine is autistic and he is on a medication to keep his sensory over load at bay. He may not need meds but until he gets a diagnosis its hard to help him. Hope that helps
    Good luck to you

    Answer by pnwmom at 3:34 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I think it's part hormonal and education changes I know my 10yo (and us parents) are on homework overload I mean it is upwards of 3 hours a night. He started middle school this year. Social transitions as they are finding their "groups" as well as, feet are big but brain is small LOL I too understand the anger stuff My 9yo is a very angry guy. Here's the upside he isn't acting out anywhere but at home so believe it or not that is a good thing???!!! And yes he is medicated with a bipolar diagnosis we have gone through about 5 meds until we got the correct combo. Also, do counseling away from school.Keep reminding him of the correct way to handle lifes rough patches cuz there are many when you are a grown-up and being a kid is training for adulthood.

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 12:53 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I agree with mom2priceboys and also with having him seen by his pediatrician. My son is an only child and while he is not angry and mean he is sad sometimes (although popular at school). He says he is sad cause he has no one to play with. I am having major homework probs and mom2pricboys hit the nail on the head about the expectations and also the need to fing a group. Good luck and try to help him NOW rather then when he really harms someone or himself.

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 12:57 AM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • My son is also the same he is 10 years old. He was dignosed with ADHD and is on meds. But he only takes it for school. He throws tantrums, doesnt listen at all. I know what your going through. Thats all my son does is pick on the little ones and blame everyone else. I finally got him into counseling and hopefully it gets better. All I do now is send him for a time out in his room and about a hour later hes back at it again.

    Answer by momof5kidz at 1:48 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • If this has been something ongoing I can't stress enough how much you need to seek help from a counselor, Physciatrist, PCP, whoever....This is common among ADHD and Autistic children as well as a few other disorders such as Oppositional Defiant Disorder (I think I spelt that right). My son is both ADHD and has Aspergers (a higher functing spectrum of Austism). My son isn't qutie as extreme as what your's sounds like, but he too has his fits of rage, and gets upset over some of the most mundane things. However, if this has only started recently and or only at home it could very well be stress overload. But either way, you should most definitely seek counseling before it gets worse.

    Answer by RepentantSinner at 12:57 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

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