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what should or can I do? help!

My daughters father has visitations where he picks her up on Friday and brings her back Sunday. Well he didn't show up on friday and came today. He said he was just seeing her for a little bit. Well he just took her and left. I asked him to stop so I can kiss her and hug her bye because I have never been away from her. He basically ran with her and I heard her calling for me because she thought I was leaving too. Well he doesn't want me to have his number so I can't call and check on her. She is 3 and is currently sick he left so quick I couldn't give her meds to him. What do I do or can I do a thing? I'm so hurt because if anything happened to her or myself I was not able to kiss or hug her for the first time she is away from me. His satisfaction is in causing me pain. I heard him on his phone as he was preparing to leave his friend is picking him up and they are all like street people. I can't call n don't know where she is

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Oct. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • do you not have court orderd custody papers? If you dont you are gonna file for emergency custody , they will do it just because he didnt get her meds wich puts her in danger. if you cant afford to get and exparte custody order then if you know where he lives wait till he takes her to daycare or to a family members house then go get her . i dont know what state your in but north carolina has a hands on custody law.good luck! i am going thru a similar custdy prob . i hope this helps

    Answer by tomcatsbabygirl at 3:11 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I don't know how much good calling the cops would do, but I would start there. Maybe they can give you some suggestions or help you. Given that she doesn't have her carseat or her medicine, they might do something but they also might make you wait to see if he returns her tonight. IF he doesn't return her tonight, then I would for sure be calling the cops because he is in violation of his visitation agreement and he COULD lose his visitation rights. I know in your situation I would be freaking out too, but try to calm down and think of the best thing to do. Do you know anyone who knows his phone number, like relatives of his or anything? Maybe you could call them and have them come get her meds and carseat at least and maybe find out what's going on if you get along with them. I would honestly start by calling the cops though because he might be in violation of something if he is riding around with her without a carseat.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 3:13 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Wait you said Sunday he has to bring her back. Well they might make you wait til Monday to file a complaint if he doesn't have her back. I thought you said Saturday, sorry. He wouldn't actually be in violation of his visitation until Monday.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 3:14 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Get his phone number before he takes her again. File for emergency sole custody and take custody back to court. If there is no court order for visitation, then let him take you to court for visistation and don't let him see her unsupervised until then. He is emotionally harming your child and he doesn't care. That is just wrong. Document everything he does and says; dates, times, who was present and what happened. Save emails or texts that he sends you.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:15 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I'm assuming that there is no court order because courts state there MUST be contact numbers and he must allow you at least one phone call per day. If there is no court order and you feel she is unsafe you need to not allow him to just take her because sadly and not to scare you but he is able to keep her and there is nothing that can be done until there is an order in place, that can take months.There is nothing the police can do to help... if he is on the birth certificate. If hes not on the birth certificate and there is no court order then you can call the police and they could possibly help

    Answer by Angelknot8 at 3:27 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • go to his house if you cant get him on the phone and make sure he has her med's and from now on dont let her out the door until you have talk to him and said goodbye to her.

    Answer by peace013 at 3:43 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • thats wrong, you should be able to know where she is. He sounds like a jerk, and is putting his own slef satisfaction before her needs. I would go talk to the authorities.

    Answer by sarlove01 at 3:48 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • oh, and this may be considered kidnapping if you r custody is shared even, maybe not, but talk to someone right away!

    Answer by sarlove01 at 3:48 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I asked earlier today what a troll question was. I think this may fit the description.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 4:41 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • first of all honey.. this is YOUR CHILD... he HAS to give you a working number to get in touch with them to check on her, make sure she is alright, etc. AT NO POINT should you have let him leave with out a contact number(that you knew was his) where he would be with her and who all was going to be around her. I am not trying to put you down sweetie but i dont feel you have done what is needed for your daughter... second.. when he ran off with her.. I would have stopped him. and she wouldnt have went. he doesnt need to act like this in front of her and until he can act like an adult i would file for SUPERVISED visits only. WHY DIDNT YOU CALL THE COPS ASAP? i mean before he even got in the car.... you dont know where they are now or who she is with etc. call the cops tell them what your child is wearing and the make of the car and description of the AHOLE who took her. even if the visitations are court ordered.

    Answer by Ross2010 at 7:09 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

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