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HELP!!!my SO says i'm putting my best friend before him.

me and my girlfriend have been friends for over 8 years and lately she and her bf have been having some serious relationship problems. i'm trying to be there for her but i'm negelecting my SO of 3 years in the process. i love them both and i want to help her but it's putting a horrible strain on my relationship. please help.

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dlss87

Asked by dlss87 at 11:49 PM on Oct. 27, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • That is so tough because generally men come and go, but when you've been with him for three years he is obviously sticking around. Talk to him explain to him why you're there so much for her, but respect what he is telling you. Spend more time with him put him first once in a while. Your friend should understand that after three years this is the man you're building your life with
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 11:54 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • TELL HER YOU CAN HAVE ONE DAY A WEEK TO HANG OUT FOR THE DAY AND MAKE PHONE CALLS SHORT !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • This is a tough one because I know you care about both but at the same time, you need to start putting your own needs into the equation because you're no good to either of them if you're not taking care of you. Sorry I don't have any advice advice.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 11:59 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • This is a tough one because you want to be there for both of them and one is demanding that you give him some of the extra time that you are giving your friend...the truth of the matter is, you have to oblige your man but yet let your freind know that you'll be there for her, when she needs you but in all honesty, what can you possibly do that much to help this freind with her relationship if she's with you? It sounds as if your friend needs to be with her man, trying to work out her relationship or letting this man walk...it's not fair that you are put in this type of position...
    treasured_hope

    Answer by treasured_hope at 12:04 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • you've all given such helpful honest advice. i just want to be there for her, but my SO can only handle her in small doses. for example she and her bf visited this weekend, had another tiff and left her here. well she ended up with us until monday and by then my SO was so annoyed by her he started getting an attitude with me. when he talks down on her it makes me so mad we get into arguments over it . we just quarrled because i thought it would be a good idea to hang with her on halloween in spite of our prior plans i dont know girls i dont want to choose between him and my Best friend.
    dlss87

    Answer by dlss87 at 1:05 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I think he is jelous. I think you are a good friend. To what extent are you helping? If this is consuming all of your time then he has a point. Your friend also needs to be aware that you are in a relationship that needs balance. You should not have to choose. That is unfair. Talk to him when you are alone. Tell him you love your friend and you want to help as much as you can knowing she would do the same for you..ask him what you can do to make him fell better about the situation...within reason...he needs to meet you half way. I have found with men if you make them think it was their idea it goes better. So just ask what would be a happy medium for him and go from there. Good luck!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:17 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

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