Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

How to decide between local foster adoption or international adoption?

I feel like I am wasting precious time, but I can not decide which route to go. I have been over it from every angle a million times. Money is not a concern, or I should say not a deciding factor at all. I did think foster adopt would be the way to go because I know how desperately those children need and deserve forever homes. But, I look at countries like Haiti and think of what awful conditions those children live in. I really need someone else's outlook on this matter that may help me see the light! Please help!!!

 
Gandeluv

Asked by Gandeluv at 5:02 PM on Oct. 16, 2010 in Adoption

Level 9 (296 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • check yourself on the need to rescue a child~keeping a child in their place of origin is a good thing. Doing fostercare, our county will sometimes need to shipped children out of county to find forever homes....our local fost/adopt list wants girls...blue eyed girls with little or no mental history or drug exposure....that is a real bummer for the dark boy infant who is poly drug exposed....if you have money and want to make a difference..those are the babies available very young who need a solid stable bonded mothering and that breaks my heart to see people go half way around the world and get the very same issues in a child.

    live locally!
    surfcitymom

    Answer by surfcitymom at 5:43 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • we need to help our society first..if you dont care how old the child is...stay local...and if you don't think the kids living in foster homes don't live in bad conditions...check again...yes there are many great foster parents...but for each great one there as an equally horrible one...I used to teach in the inner city and I saw it all..it was/is disgusting
    coolchic320

    Answer by coolchic320 at 9:03 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I was in the same palce as you were 3 years ago. My deciding factor was that in my heart of hearts, I wanted a newborn to bond with me. So we chose to foster adopt. There are certainly risks involved, but I am about to adopt all 3 of my little rewards and I couldn't be more excited.

    And I do love the first reply! Do both!! :) Start your fostering while waiting for an international adoption acceptance.

    On a side note: Has Haiti reopened adoptions with the US?
    love2snorkel70

    Answer by love2snorkel70 at 1:42 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Why not a two child family.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 5:06 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I encourage local adoption, but honestly it's a personal choice. You will be giving either child a beautiful new life. You will reap the benefits and rewards with either choice. I don't think you can make a bad decision given these choices ;)
    blessedwithree

    Answer by blessedwithree at 5:11 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • It's true if you want to make a difference in a child's life you can do it either way. But think about this. The order of adoption: 1.light skinned girls 2.light skinned boys 3.medium skinned girls 4.medium skinned boys 5.dark skinned girls 6.mixed boys 7.dark skinned boys. If you arent worried about how it looks to others you should adopt the child that probably doesnt have a chance of finding a home. the one who will live in foster care and the one who the only family he/she knows is the state of ____. just on a personal note, i am only 22. i know babies are great bcc you can raise them as your own and you get to go through everything with them, all of the firsts. but me i am working on saving up some money and getting everything stable to become a foster parent and adopt children that everyone forgot. i want that 16-1 year old boy, whose mom was a crack head, dont know their daddy, been in state care... i want him!!!
    hoosier.mom88

    Answer by hoosier.mom88 at 6:13 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Previous posters have said it well. Look into local foster care. I've heard both ways, that infants are never available, to infants are available, so maybe it depends on where you are. Take care of children in your community first.
    TwoBrownDogs

    Answer by TwoBrownDogs at 8:35 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • That is wonderful to know that you have chosen your path! Best wishes!!
    love2snorkel70

    Answer by love2snorkel70 at 12:14 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • In all honesty, nobody can give you this answer. Period. There are no pros and cons to this query...one child is not more deserving of another...patriotism should never be in the equations either. Every child deserves a home and to be loved.

    I am an IA mom. FC was never an option for us for a myriad of reasons. Our daughter came to us at 17 months old from China. She will be 5 in 2 weeks and has been home for 3.5 years.
    If you are interested in an infant- IA is not the choice for you...period. You will NOT get an infant in IA. In most programs the youngest you will get a referral is a few months old, however, by the time you meet your child he/she is over 2. China does not release children until they are at least 6 months old and the youngest you will meet them is typically 9 months IF you get matched with a child that young( very rare). Our travel group's kiddos ranged from 12 months to 17 months old.
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 9:53 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Thank-you everyone for your responses. I can see which way you all are leaning to! BTW, I am not looking for an infant and this is not my first child so doing both is not an option. Strangely enough, after months of agonizing and praying, I was given some pretty clear signals last night on which way to go. Just when I think I'm going to crazy over making the wrong decision, it's made for me! Thanks again for all of the input.
    Gandeluv

    Comment by Gandeluv (original poster) at 10:48 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN