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ADOPTION RACE LINES

my husband and i were watching adoption stories on tv last night and he became very upset at the fact that people were going through great expense & half way around the world to adopt children out of their race. he felt as though they were taking away heritage & that the person was simply doing this to feel like they helped out some poor chinese or african kid, & will bring them to the u.s. where everyone will pity them. to a extent i agree, but adopt american kids first . i think the laws in the u.s are more cruel to adopting parents because the birth parents have so many laws that let them change their mind. & to avoid that we go oversees where we can get newborns and once american citizens the parents can never take them back. as for the race, it must be miserable to not have anyone in your family who looks like your or can even comb your hair for that matter. these are just my thoughts and feelings.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:21 AM on Oct. 28, 2008 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (27)
  • (cont) The fact is that adoptive families LOVE their children. Every child is much better off in a family, no matter what country they are from. Yes there are many children waiting here to be adopted, but there are many overseas as well. God made each one and none are any less deserving of a home. God put adoptive parents here to adopt certain children I believe. I believe that He will help the parents find the children that He has for them no matter what country they are in.
    mommy9

    Answer by mommy9 at 12:30 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I see what you're saying, but then I also have seen a lot of adoptive parents that immerse themselves in their child's heritage and strive to keep it a part of the child's life. There are a lot of children in America that need good homes, but unfortunately like you said the laws put people off for fear of having the child taken back or being rejected in the first place.
    mamapotter

    Answer by mamapotter at 3:51 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I will try and answer this easily with the limited characters allowed.
    1.) It is NOBODY'S business how anyone builds their family.Period.
    2.) I am one of those people that went across the world to adopt that "poor Chinese child". I did it because I wanted to be a mother and dh and I had talked about it at 16. Both of us had the desire.
    3.) The cost and time is the same for a domestic adoption as it is for international.
    4.) We lost a child at 36 weeks after 7 years of infertility. Neither of us were willing to put ourselves or a child through the heartbreak of a disrupted domestic adoption after losing a child already.
    5.) We are planning on immersing our daughter in Chinese school and dance, but they won't allow the children to begin until age 5...she is 3 now. She loves looking at the pictures of her adoption story, etc.
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 8:56 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • In continuation....
    I have never seen anyone or heard of anyone pitying the child.
    I will give you a little Chinese history.. many Chinese people value boys over girls due to Confuscious telling them to thousands of years ago. Therefore, many girls are either abandoned or are late term abortions. Those children would live in an orphanage until 13 when they would be turned out to live on their own.... Those are the children that are to be pitied..not the ones adopted.
    The thought that there are thousands of kids in the US that are available for adoption is a farce. The parents rights have to be terminated and that doesn't happen very often. Infant adoption is a long wait since you are competing for a first mom to pick you. I will stop now, but if you have questions let me know...
    Claire
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 9:04 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • That's just an awful outlook on adoption! ALL children, no matter where they come from, need a home and parents that love them! It shouldn't be about the color of there skin or the kind of hair they have...it should be about who's going to love them and protect them. I agree, there are alot of US born children that need homes, but most are returned to there bioparents, so where does that leave the people wanting to adopt and raise a family of there own? I have been blessed with two healthy happy little girls that are from here, but if we hadn't been able to adopt them, we would have gone overseas.
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 9:18 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • continued...
    People talk about how many kids in the US need homes and all that, but no one stops to look at the fact that many times they are returned to there bio parents to be put through all the horrors we hear about today. Not ALL, but most are taken away repeatedely and then returned again. If you want to talk about adoption, talk about that...don't stoop to talking about innocent children that are fortunate enough to have someone wanting to give them love and a family.
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 9:18 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I see what you are saying for the most part. I remember when we were in our adoption classes at the beginning of our adoption journey the caseworkers were talking about domestic adoption and said that, with domestic adoption, you have to be okay with the possibility that the course of the rest of your life lies in the hands of a 16 year old. This one guy said out loud that this is why they were adopting from China to not have to go through with that and several other people, who I found out also were adopting from China, agreed with him.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 9:44 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Cont'd

    Of course, I thought they were being horrible at the time. But then when my DD's BMom gave birth at 16 and then refused to sign the paperwork, I completely understood. And then, going along in teenage ways (not saying that had anything to do with it, but "teenage" is my topic here), she changed her mind back 3 months later and we brought home our daughter. That 16 year old (17 by the time it was all done) completely tore our lives apart, so yeah, I definitely understand China...it's a sure-shot to a baby. Takes longer (at least in our case it would have), but sure-shot!
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 9:44 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • We adopted from Taiwan, and in their culture they don't adopt. If they can't have kids, they just don't have kids. Adoption is not culturally accepted there. So all these kids that have been placed are homless, in orphanages, or if they are lucky, in foster care. Why would I not want to help one of these children? They are doomed to a life with no family over there! Here, they have family, they have promise, they have love and they are accepted!
    icook

    Answer by icook at 10:14 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I adopted children from the foster care system here in the US. I've adopted 8 and am adopting 2 (praying for a 3rd) here very soon. Even at that I have children who are African American, Hispanic, and Caucasian. Skin color is just that "the color of their skin". They are all very glad to be a part of our large family. No one here cares about skin color differences. We encourage them to be proud of their heritage. I know how to do their "hair" by the way too.

    mommy9

    Answer by mommy9 at 12:30 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

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