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4 Bumps

I could cry

My DH pays the bills. He's an accountant. We both work full time and as I never used to even balance my checkbook, (which drove him nuts) it seemed to make more sense. I would ask him how things were going, he always said 'fine'. Or "We aren't where I would like to be, but we are doing ok."

Well, recently, we've been getting numerous phone calls from companies asking where their money is. I asked him about it. The response was "Oh, I've been so busy, I forgot." I asked him flat out "Do we have the money to pay it and you just forgot, or do we not have the money?" He responded that we had the money, but he just forgot.


We are so behind on everything! I am angry. I am sick to my stomach. I don't know what to do!! I want to cry.

I don't even know how to get out of this mess.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:53 AM on Oct. 17, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (10)
  • ((hugs)) Call the companies, ask to set up payment plans. I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

    Answer by blessedwithree at 4:55 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • hang in there mama! take a deep breath :) ((((HUGS))))
    I hope everything will turn out OK

    Answer by oliveoyl214 at 4:57 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • *hugs* just try to remember , no matter how bad things seem right now , they could always be worse. My husband has no job right now due to his health and same goes for me , I have cancer and heart problems and we have four daughters . I know what it feels like to be stressed about money but as long as the family sticks together and are strong you can work through anything :)

    Answer by SaraTafolla at 5:27 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • I'm really sorry, and I understand. Take some time, breathe, and then calmly sit down with your husband and make him show you everything - the bills, the bank account statements,etc. Call the companies, and come up with a plan. Most companies will work with you.



    Answer by earlgrey at 5:36 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • I agree with earlgrey. This is the time that you need to finally learn about all your family finances. Look over everything together and come up with an action plan. You need to have a clear understanding of everything especially if anything ever were to happen to your husband. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 7:11 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Get actively involved. Go back and find out what happened. Are you overspending? Is the money gone? Where? Take action to correct the problem.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:19 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • just breathe...and remember no matter what it is just money and these companies will work with you if you communicate with them.

    Answer by BigfordBrat at 8:20 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • There are many in your boat.

    Answer by IraqiVetWife at 8:24 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Hang in there. I've been there more times than I'd like to mention.

    Answer by elwalters77 at 4:37 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • So you know for certain that you don't have the money?

    You're poor husband has been doing this alone. He probably feels like it's his job to provide for you financially and it hurt him to admit that finances weren't going well. It was wrong for him to lie to you, but it was also wrong for you to let him carry that burden alone.

    Figure out what non-retirement liquid assets you have. Write out a budget with food, mortgage, utilities, fuel, and insurance first. AFTER those are taken care of work on your other bills. It's not the end of the world if you're late or if you miss a payment. They charge you fees, they call and scream it hurts your credit, but at the end of the day you've got food in your belly and a roof over your head.

    I would recommend checking out the book My Total Money Makeover, by Dave Ramsey from your local library. I hope things get better for you guys soon.

    Answer by Erica_Smerica at 1:25 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

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