Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How to deal with IN-LAWS?

ok, my financee's step mother who doesnt have any children, wants to take my son to et his fall pictures made today. let me remind you that this is 3rd or 4th time taking him to get his pictures made. i know that pictures are priceless but with our budget we just cant afford to spend money on pictures every month like she does. she makes feel like im being a bad parent because of that. and sometimes i think when she babysits my son and goes out in public with him she will tell people its her child instead of her grandchild. if there is anyone who has experienced this please give me some advice on this becuase i dont wanna go through this again with my 2nd child which i am pregnant with right now and nobody know about it yet.

Answer Question
 
gurlieracer4

Asked by gurlieracer4 at 8:45 AM on Oct. 28, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Simply tell her that you cant afford expensive pictures taken every month. You guys probably take enough pictures with a camera all the time anyway. Well thats what we do at least. We only get professional pictures taken twice a year.. thats on our girls b-day and christmas.

    And i just cant believe she would tell anybody its her child, when it actually isnt. People who know her, will know that she doesnt have any kids. But if she really does that and you have prove, then tell her to stop that or she wont babysit your little boy.

    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 8:54 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Take a deep breath.... for a minute there I though you were talking about my MIL. If she is paying for the picctures then just go with it. If she isn't I would calmly have a conversation about the pictures, just say something like you enjoy them just as much as she does, but it is hitting the pocket book a little heavy each time is there any way you could go half with her on them. I am sure she will understand. As far as her telling everyone that it is her kid, unless you know for a fact, I wouldn't think about it anymore, yes she doesn't have kids but I would think she is just a "Proud Grandma" and knows her place. I would just smile and nod and go with the flow.
    Izzyscrazymom

    Answer by Izzyscrazymom at 9:23 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • continue..

    And maybe before pulling out the "I am MOM" fangs in a situation, put yourself in her shoes just for a second. I'm sure by now she has come to terms with not having her own kids, but I am sure just like my MIL she will strive to be the BEST grandma out there, if you let her :)
    Izzyscrazymom

    Answer by Izzyscrazymom at 9:23 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • but she is only like 35 years and she only keeps him on monday because thats her day, my son great grandmother which again is a in law keeps him the rest of the week. its a really confusing situation, and i kinda understand her situation but when i took him to walmart to get his pictures made she acted like it wasnt good enough for her, but i think she is just that kinda person. but she takes him to some fancy place thats expense even though she pays for them
    gurlieracer4

    Answer by gurlieracer4 at 11:11 AM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I wouldn't worry about it much, It seems like she is just giving him extra attention because she can. I wouldn't let it bother you. If the Walmart pictures aren't good enough, then she can always pay for a better place. Unless she comes out and says something, I wouldn't worry. Sometimes I have a hard time reading what my MIL and in the begining I just think she didn't know how to act around me and me with her. And if she pays let her, I will always bring some money with me just to offer to pay but I am usually told "not to worry about it" Once "Grandma" label hits, they feel they can never do enough for thier grandkid, nothing is too good, if you ever want to know about overbaring MOTHERS send me a messege, I have some stories..LOL!!!
    Izzyscrazymom

    Answer by Izzyscrazymom at 12:15 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Oh hell no - I have no problem with the pictures but with her calling herself mom - that is just wrong. My mil tried to do this and cut her down in about five seconds. Don't let her play mommy to your child. That is overstepping boundaries.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN