Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Siblings in the same room while giving birth

What do you think about a sibling being in the same room when you are giving birth to their little brother or sister? How would you explain what will happen so the child knows what to expect?

 
hostlerak

Asked by hostlerak at 9:37 AM on Oct. 17, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 8 (217 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • When we had our second our older daughter came after the birth to see the new baby. If we had another baby now neither girl would be in the room with me, even at 15 and 11. IMO, that's more than they need to see. I also had two not-so-great births, the first they almost took emergency C-section, but she had moved into the birth canal by the time they were ready. The second I had back labor for hours and if I watched someone go through that I would have never had kids.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:42 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • My mom did that with me. I know she meant well and it meant a lot to her and she cherishes those memories. But it was hellish for me. I was 8 the first time and 10 the second and it was awful and scarred for life. I shudder when I think about it and I seriously didn't have sex until I was 20 because I was so terrified of having kids and because of it I had grown up swearing off ever having kids. That has all changed now, but it took up until I was 22/23 to even consider having a kid.
    Gnomeofmyheart

    Answer by Gnomeofmyheart at 4:34 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Tell them exactly what will happen and why.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:57 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • I wouldn't. I'd let him visit with me for a bit while I was in labor (as long as I wasn't screaming my head off--so as not to scare him). At a young age, I don't think they need to be present because it can be a scary experience for a young child.
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 9:57 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • I wouldn't want them to be in there with me while giving birth because it is bloody and too REAL for kids. And too personal and private.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 10:02 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Our boys were 9 & 8 when their sister was born. My midwife was insistent that they be present in the room during the birth. I was a devoted mother, always putting myself in my boy's shoes to inform my decisions.

    I wanted the boys to have NO negative feelings about the new baby. There was no way I wanted to risk them getting alarmed by the intensity of labor & birth ( my births were incredibly easy - absolutely no crying out or pain - but giving birth IS intense!)

    So I did NOT want them to be in the room. It would be a home birth, so they might be around while I was in gentle labor, but we had a friend arranged who would take them for an outing if the intense labor was during the daytime.

    ALSO - I knew that I would be relating to them and reassuring them INSTEAD of being able to concentrate. Painless birth involves relaxing into dreamy inwardness to allow the right hormones to open up the body.

    I got a different midwife.
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 10:12 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • I believe the ONLY people who should be in the delivery room are those who were present when the baby was conceived! But that's me. If you want your other children in the room, that's something YOU have to decide, but I would NEVER allow it!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:53 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • And no, I'm not joking or over exaggerating. My sister was born when I was 10, and they stuck me up front so I could see everything, and my sister ended up getting stuck and they were talking about breaking her arm to get her out or pushing her back up and having my mom start over and my mom is screaming and .... uhg. When you're 10 is really scary and not a beautiful thing to enjoy...
    Gnomeofmyheart

    Answer by Gnomeofmyheart at 4:35 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • That's a lot for a child to see and more of me than I care for them to see. So, no.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 11:04 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • i dont think id allow that....
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 9:16 PM on Oct. 19, 2010