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How do you single moms do it?

I'm about to become a single mom of two kids. From the looks of it my husband and I are going to split. I'm tired of fighting the battle of marriage by myself. When I try to talk to him about it he blamed all our problems on me, even he's betrayal. This is been going on for a couple years now but I kept trying and trying even though I kept getting shot down. Instead of saying we will work on OUR problems he blamed every single one on me.
I'm scared to go out in the real world. I haven't worked in over 3 years. I don't know how I can handle all the finances. The most I could hear I could make here is $11 starting, hell that will barley cover daycare. I don't know what to do. Especially will the economy the way it is, I've been trying to find a job of 3 months now and still no luck. No I don't have anyone to help. My family is no good and his family already hates me this fall out they'll hate me even more.

 
mommy_of_two388

Asked by mommy_of_two388 at 10:35 AM on Oct. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 43 (154,356 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • How do single parents do it? However we have to because there is no other option. You may have to swallow your pride and go on public assistance until you get on your feet. There are many programs that will help with utilities and day care, you just have to be willing to use them. There is NOTHING wrong with using PA to get on your feet. There are even programs that will help pay for college tuition and books to help you get a job. Get a strong support system in place and it doesn't have to be family. I have amazing friends that have helped me out a lot. You are lucky to be able to find a job paying $11 an hour, the jobs that are available around my city pay $7.50 an hour and no benefits.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:49 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • I am going through the same thing. Right now, my plan is to save as much money as I can and look for a job in a different area. In my town, there are not many jobs that pay over minimum wage, however, if I move about an hour away, there are several jobs that pay more and the cost of living is about the same as it is here in my town. But, I have no idea, how single moms do it, but I guess I am about to find out.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 10:39 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Being on your own you might be able to get assistance with daycare. Here in Illinois they have a program that pays for everything but $80 of the daycare. They pay for the rest.

    Otherwise, make him pay for the daycare. Daycare maybe the last thing you want to do but it maybe the only option. I think you are overwhelming yourself when people do it all the time.
    roxannewarner

    Answer by roxannewarner at 10:39 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • He will have to pay child support, right? That can be used to daycare and other kids' costs.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 10:40 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • He will have to pay child support &/or split expenses. If you split, make sure you have a legal separation agreement set up and signed so both of you know what has to be paid before you guys go to court. As for everything else, you scale down on everything, just like you would do if you were married and had a cut in income. Get rid of anything that's not a necessity. Make sure your necessities are taken care of, as well as your children. Get assistance if you need it. Then, do what you have to do...that's all you can do.

    sokkamum

    Answer by sokkamum at 10:47 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • You just do what you have to do. I was making a little over $11 an hour when I left my ex husband. I was paying more in child care than I was in rent. I just kept going.
    Keep in mind you will be getting child support and possible some sort of spousal support to help you out. I worked extra hours on the weekends my ex had visitation.
    Just keep your head up and don't dwell on what you don't have, look at what you do have.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 10:41 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Yes he'll pay child support but that will not even cover the cost of one child for daycare

    mommy_of_two388

    Comment by mommy_of_two388 (original poster) at 10:42 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • OP HERE


     


    The only problem is when we divorce he wont have a job. He's getting out of the Navy and coming home jobless and just going staright to college. He'll get to pay the smallest amount of child support and I will be denied spousal support.

    mommy_of_two388

    Comment by mommy_of_two388 (original poster) at 10:43 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • OP HERE


    I was just telling a good friend of mine last night that I'm going to put my pride aside and get on it bercause my children come first. I have a college degree, buy my state sucks on paying for what it's for.

    mommy_of_two388

    Comment by mommy_of_two388 (original poster) at 10:53 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • In PA, they calculate child support, then add on half of what child care costs are in addition to the child support.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 11:04 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

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