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How to get 4 year old girl to listen

My daughter turned 4 in August and she is very strong willed (like her mother). She usually obeys but lately she's really been acting out. For example, we were in the car and I told her to put her sweater on and she said, "I don't want to". It wasn't a request. So she got spanked. I really don't like spanking her, and usually don't need to, but this time it was warrented. Somebody please help! I'm losing it!

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Asked by Kara508 at 11:47 AM on Oct. 17, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • you did right.

    Answer by TeeHas3 at 11:48 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Just keep being consistent mom. If you are spanking, make sure you carry out on all your threats. Be patient. It's a phase, as she is trying your patience and testing your will.

    Answer by m-avi at 11:48 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • When is it gonna end? I don't remember going through this with my son. It's like she's reverted into a baby. She loved when I told her she was acting like a big girl or I would ask her do you want to be a big girl or a baby and she would stop and act like a big girl. I just don't understand and my patience is getting short.

    Comment by Kara508 (original poster) at 11:52 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Thanks

    Comment by Kara508 (original poster) at 11:53 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Momma i wish i had advice for 4 1/2 year old is the BIGGEST brat lately. What gives?! She even last night scramed at me, kicked and slammed doors, etc for just over an hour, she even got a spaking, it didnt stop her behavior. just know you are NOT alone.

    Answer by anikahaynes1 at 11:54 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Know what her currency is and withhold that for a reasonable length of time for punishment. Each child has a currency which is the most important things to them.

    Time out can be effective too. Make the length of time appropriate for her age and be consistent. Do not talk to her if you have to take her back to the time out spot. People give up on time out because the child has to be returned to the spot. It can take a long time before she stays there.

    Whatever method you pick do it every time and stay consistent and stay calm. Plus have her look into your eyes to get eye contact with her.

    In the example you gave I guess I would have told her "we can not do such and such unless you put on your sweater" or maybe have had some small reward for putting on the sweater.....just ideas.......GL!!

    Answer by elizabr at 11:55 AM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Thank you and I tried that too, I was taking her to her dad's house and I knew she wanted to go so I told her if she didn't put the sweater on I would turn around and go home. Didn't work. She's very stubborn and it just seems its getting out of control.

    Comment by Kara508 (original poster) at 12:01 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Just a word of caution to make your consequences real and something you will follow through with. I had to learn that early on because I would threaten things that I really would not not having such and such ever again........and the kids learned that it was not a realistic consequence. I don't know if you really would have turned around and gone home...........

    Answer by elizabr at 12:06 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • No I wouldn't. I love my daughter, but I love when she's with him too! I need breaks!

    Comment by Kara508 (original poster) at 12:15 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • I am with you Kara, my 5 year old and I can really get into. I just try to enjoy when we don't. Time out works well with mine, but I get tired of sending her there. I agree with don't threaten if you won't do it. Also be consistent. It helps I also think it is part of them learning and growing. Even though it tries my patience.

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 1:04 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

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