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3 Bumps

Is it too much to ask?

My husband watches football every Sunday. Which is completely fine with me. I LOVE football myself and usually every sat and sun we are watching football. Last night he said he was going to his dads to watch it. (not a surprise bc we dont have cable bc we NEVER watch anything on tv..) BUT i was hoping that we could go to a restaurant to watch the game today BC I am sooo sick of seeing his dad everyday! His dad is Rude all the time and constantly makes smart remarks.. and he lives 5 min from us. Normally he will just show up at our house without notice and expect us to drop our plans for his plans. no lie we see him everyday whether we like it or not. So I told him I wasnt going to go over there with him. Well he slept in today.. until 12:15 got up showered and was heading out the door.. to go to his dads. asked if i got enough done around the house that i would go with him.. I told him that i just didnt want to go. CONT

 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 1:58 PM on Oct. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I'll bet the first time you went to the bar/restaurant to watch a football game without him, he'd get the message! That may not be what you would do, but I would & have. I was taken seriously after that. your needs should come before his fathers. If you tell your husband that you need more time for only the 2 of you & he doesnt get that, then you need to do something that will make him understand. counseling maybe? An unbiased 3rd party can often get through to someone when their own spouse cant. Hearing it from a stranger can make all the difference. How abut suggesting a compromise? A weekend game with his father, the next with just the 2 of you out somewhere? and so on....that might work, & it'd be equal time for all.
    RubyinPA

    Answer by RubyinPA at 3:48 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • we sometimes go to applebees and enjoy 2-for 1 drinks all day long and eat wings.
    diana398

    Answer by diana398 at 3:45 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • That i wanted one day without having to see everyone. He said well i wish you would go, and i said well i wish we didnt have to go over there to watch the game. he got upset bc i said i was tired of seeing his dad EVERYDAY. well he left and went to watch the game.. I feel so ignored. I want him to understand that him going to his dads and leaving me at the house by myself without considering going anywhere else hurt my feelings. He wont be back until right before he has to go to work tonight and in the morning he has to go to a clinical and wont be back from that until time to go to work. and the rest of the week is booked with appoinments.. EVERYDAY.. I just want one day for us and i cant get it. i am sick of arguing with him about his dad.. (he always go straight to mad. and wont listen.) and i am sick of not being able to have one freaking day just for us. i dont know how to handle it.. any suggestions
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 2:03 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • I could understand how that would be annoying.
    ShootingStar03

    Answer by ShootingStar03 at 2:03 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • I have a lot of the same things to deal with and have yet to figure out how to deal with it. I'm sorry but I just wanted to say I understand where you are coming from. My husband is gone right now riding around and one more time I'm stuck home. I am about to lose my mind because if it's not him playing around with his loser buddies, he's with his family that we see pretty much daily.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • i totaly understand ive been thru a sim sit with my husband we moved in wit his grandparnets 2 take care of them while they were dieing and let me b clear it was a noble thing on my husbands part took alot of guts 4 a 23 year old man 2 to this but it came to a point where me and our son couldnt even get a dinner to mcdonalds with him this went on 4 2 years me begging and pleading 4 him 2 use a hospice vol. to watch thm while we had sum quality fam. time 4 our marriage and our son but he always felt they were more important and wouldnt c it my way which was that he needed a break from them and sum time with us just a little bit. i wish i could say he fin saw it my way but he didnt our marriage surrvived but barley we grew apart and even got seperated 4 awhile but now we r back and stronger then ever altho the dif being his grandparents passed away and he started putting us first again. i wish u the best
    Hbabygirl476

    Answer by Hbabygirl476 at 2:27 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • I am sorry that you have to put up with this. We moved 600 miles away from our families and my husband really doesn't have any friends. But on the flip side, my husband's father died in May, 2010. They were not very close but he misses him. My dad died in April, 2010 and I miss him. As much as he(FIL) annoyed me, he told my husband that I was raising our sons wrong, I feel sorry for my husband. Your husband's father will not be around forever, and you don't want him holding it over your head for the nest 40 years that you didn't want him to hang with his dad. Men are like that, they take it to the extreme when the have to blame someone else for their sadness. Good Luck
    Bagofwind

    Answer by Bagofwind at 2:39 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • I don't have a dad and I know how father in laws and mother in laws can be when it come to personal time with the SO. After you have cooled down and feel like you can talk about this with out getting upset then ask can you two have time with out father being there. Remember no heat just talk and agree to disagree. My SO don't have a father and neither do I we both don't have a mother either. All we have is each other and the kids which in the end are not his but mines. So I am and we are his every thing.
    dorotheabrown37

    Answer by dorotheabrown37 at 2:49 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

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