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2 Bumps

Is it normal to not like your step kids& pls only answer if you have stepkids.

So just recently my step daughter has been getting on my last nerve, idk whats going on, she just turned 15& yes i know she is a teenager but i have tried to do everything to make her feel comfortable here at home, if i go somewhere even if its just to the store for toilet paper i ask if she wants to go, you know just to have a conversation in the car.She was doing well at first, now she wont listen to me when i wake her up in the mornings, she wont pick up after herself when i ask her to , all of a sudden she fals asleep early n she wont help me, she gives me dirty looks at time, i told hubby that he needs to put her ass in check, i have told him the way she looks at me, i feel like if she wants to have this battle w/me, but idk why like i sd things were going good between us. Sometimes i just ignore her n dont even give her the time when i know she is trying to have a battle w/me, but i have realized that when i come home

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Oct. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • from work i get in a bad mood even b4 stepping into my home because i know what i have to face.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:17 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Well, all I know is that I had a child when I met my husband, and I couldn't have married him if he hadn't loved my son, and had a good relationship with him. Teenagers are tough even if they're your biological children, but he always treated my oldest son just as he did his biological children, and I can't tell you how much more I love him for that.

    I don't know how long you've been married, or how old his daughter was when you met, but try to step back and imagine what it's like for her to have a stepmom, and if the marriage is recent, to have someone new in her father's life.

    Again, teenagers are difficult even under the best circumstances, so I feel you there, but imagine if it were your biological child and how you would want her treated.

    One more note, my son is now 28, he tells people he picked out his own dad....and he just calls him Dad, my husband just considers him his son.

    Good Luck.

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:28 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • This is where you and DH need to have a meeting, and discuss what needs to happen. She is a teen, and they suck even if they are your bios. It's the teen years. But as her BP, DH needs to be laying down the law, and insisting that you are his sherriff when he is not home and you both are listened to, and this includes no eye rollin, no bitch noises, no hairflips, none of that sassy shit.

    I am sorry. I have a teenaged SD, and I know how they get. It is imperative that your DH get on this one ASAP and check her bad behavior and let her know it will not be tolerated whether he is there or not.

    Answer by LiliM at 11:28 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • ohwrite, you are not a SP. You are not answering this as a SP. You are answering as a BP, which is totally understandable. Not the same thing, however.

    Answer by LiliM at 11:30 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • I really enjoy my step daughter, but the things she says to her father make me irate. of course she gets it from her grandmother because she hates my husband. I haven't had a chance to be with her alone as her mother is always here. I know that if it was just my husband and myself she would be disciplined. But i feel awkward doing it in front of her mother.

    Answer by KKline at 11:47 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • Ok, been there and done that. It was one of the most amazing challenges of my life thus far. My dh and I got married when my steps where 8 and 6. They where even in the wedding. Things did change as they got older, as we got our first house. They would come over for the weekend from their crappy apt to this mansion. It was hard on them, it was hard on us. By that point I had two more kids enter the pic, my dd and ds. So these steps would come over to the mansion house, with a new sister and brother and honestly,,it got to them. They had a peek hole into the life they missed out on, every other weekend. The one thing I didnt do,,,,was demand a schedule with step dd or step ds. They had the choice to sleep upstairs in bedrms and they wanted to sleep on the couches downstairs. I didnt demand a lot from them during those visits. As hard as it is, try to view the world thru dds eyes, She has lost so much hon,,,good luck

    Answer by beyondhopes at 11:56 PM on Oct. 17, 2010

  • I think so ,,, I think its like a stranger you meet. or the kid next door.. you dont have to like them,

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 12:13 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Although I don't live with my stepdaughters, they are not a fan of me either :(

    Answer by Stepmomat40 at 10:38 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

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