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how to get the hubby to grow out of it?

he is so set on mommy and daddy and its ridiculous. he always puts them first. cares about what they think or want more than what i think or want. when we are in disagreement (me and his parents) he takes their side.. i shouldnt come second. i should be first.. our children second.. and then on as he pleases... he just cant cut the cord and its really starting to come between us

 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 12:38 AM on Oct. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I am not sure how long you have been married, hopefully its the beginning of your marriage and if it is you need to deal with it now and put your foot down or it will only get worse. There is a place for your spouse and a place for your parents, they shouldnt effect each other, they are completely separate and different, he needs to get this in check or it will cause much discord.

    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 2:26 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • that won't happen next time he goes to mom for fight tell him the door swings both ways that you will call your mom and talk about him if he feels that is not fair well thats how you make me feel when you talk to your parents when you should talk to me your wife
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 12:50 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • I had that problem when we first got married. It took some arguing and struggling, but we finally got passed it. Good luck because you are going to need it to keep your sanity.

    Just sit him down and tell him how you are feeling. It may take several times, but eventually, it will change.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 12:57 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • girl!! the more you try to cut the cord, the harder he will tug. you have to learn to use his OCD to your advantage. manipulise the situation because it might not change. you can not ask your husband to stop taking their side because he sounds like a big mommas boy. ( i have one too). anyway, i fought it for five years, we had to move away for work reasons and that is what saved us. try your best to get along with the in-laws, communicate with them and through them you will be able to have the upper hand. explain to the parents how you feel and maybe then, the parents can make your husband change his habbit. only through their advice not yours..good luck.
    alejandra559

    Answer by alejandra559 at 4:17 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • It may take years for him to mature away from that behavior. My husband and I even did counseling once and the therapist practically screamed at my husband that he needed to put me before his mother. He sat there like a stubborn kid shaking his head. Boys grow up protecting mom so it must be hard for them to rework their thinking of protecting another woman first instead of their mom. It's also the moms fault for not teaching their sons to respect their wives properly!
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:42 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Well my husband is willing to visit his mom down the street and take the kids (they love it) and I think it is sweet- she is a widow, he is her baby boy. I hope my son one day still visits me. STay home if you need to. I do 9 times out of ten!!
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:43 AM on Oct. 18, 2010