Do you ever think there is a situation where a BM/FM is able to make the choice to place her baby with an AP and not feel like she made the wrong decision. I've read a lot of posts from BM/FM where they say they were forced or coerced or didn't have the support they needed. Do you feel like there are BM/FM who don't fall in to any of those? I'm an AM and our sons BM/FM was 20, married to his BF, going to college, financially secure, not addicted to anything. They had decided before they got married that they never wanted children. She was on the Depo shot when she got PG and didn't know until she was 4 months, but doesn't believe in abortion anyway. She wants to be a judge, he's in the military. They decided together to place the baby. They told BF's mom of their plans, she wanted to raise the baby but they said no because she was already taking care of her daughters kids while she was deployed. So birthgrandma supported themAnswer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Oct. 18, 2010 in Adoption
Answer by KKline at 1:16 AM on Oct. 18, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Oct. 18, 2010
Yes, I do believe there are cases like yours. There are women who never want to have children. But they are quite rare.
I was not coerced or forced. I was not lied to. But, I was misinformed by societies general outlook on society: that the birth mother goes on with her life and gets over it and that the baby is a blank slate and unharmed, is in fact "better off". The reason I believe this is that the birth mothers before me where not talking. They were shamed into silence. Which is why I consider it my duty and obligation to debunk these myths.
Answer by onethentwins at 12:47 PM on Oct. 18, 2010
Answer by The3Vs at 4:09 PM on Oct. 18, 2010
Answer by TALuke at 10:58 AM on Oct. 20, 2010
Answer by Southernroots at 12:26 AM on Oct. 23, 2010
The3Vs, no actually I don't think things have progressed that much. I think most women who relinquish now still believe their children are blank slates and that they themselves will get over it. I think that is still the societal myth. I thank you for asking and I urge you to continue to try to keep your sons adoption open as I sincerely believe it will benefit him. I truly believe openness in adoption is the only way to go, but sadly they are still only a "gentlemens agreement" and far too many of them close. Best of luck to you and your children.
Answer by onethentwins at 3:35 AM on Oct. 23, 2010
Answer by ChristianJMommy at 11:31 PM on Nov. 21, 2010