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Depressed hubby unsure what to do...? adult content

My hubby can't really sleep he told me because he is having nightmares from his childhood (he was sexually abused as a kid). Well i am trying to be there and he took some melatonin and is out like a light just worried about him and such i love him dearly and he hasn't ever really expressed shit about his past but he has told me what people did to him and such but he hasn't ever gotten depressed from it and i feel so useless =/.

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Asked by Anna_2010 at 12:40 AM on Oct. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Just be supportive. Ask him if he wants to talk about it, but don't push it or ge tupset if he says no. Encourage him to talk to a professional about it.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 12:44 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Don't feel useless! I'm sure it is so hard for him, having nightmares about it. :( I think the best way you can be there for him and to help him is tell him that you will not give up on him. You'll never hurt him. If he ever needs to talk about anything, you'll be there to listen. All you can do is make sure he knows that, though you don't know what he went through, you'll be there for him. Offer advice when he wants it, and don't force it if he doesn't. Even do some extra things for him to lighten his spirits. Like make his favorite dish, or go on a date night, watch a movie, go for a walk. I hope this helps. :)

    Answer by fluppyducky at 12:45 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • I understand how helpless you feel. Hubby is depressed, not for the same reasons, but because he has been disabled since 2007 from a tumor on his spine. It was removed, but there's another one there. He feels helpless and useless because he is in so much pain and has to spend so much time in bed.

    What both our beloveds need is to talk to a disinterested third party. We, as much as we love them, are truly too close to be of much help. They need to be able to talk freely without worry of saying something that may upset (hurt) us. It really does help.

    I wish you both the best and hope it works out for you.

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 12:53 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Yep just be the soft place for him to fall. As mates we are suppose to fix or solve the problems just be the extra strength.

    Answer by whoreallycares at 3:19 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • my hubby is depressed because of our finances and him not having a job. I hate that he is always depressed and i talk to him about it. I tell him to think of his kids and how benificial it is for him to spend time with them. Its hard but jsut take it one day at a time. he needs to understand that it is in his past not his present. maybe counseling but men are never up for counseling. only you know how much you can take in. good luck.

    Answer by alejandra559 at 4:06 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • It's great that he trusts you so much to share how he's feeling. Just continue to listen to him and love him - that's what he needs from you. Also,have you asked him if he'd like to talk to a therapist about his issues? Maybe you can find one and make an appt for him if he's interested.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:37 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • He has talked to a therapist he just won't go back for some reason

    Comment by Anna_2010 (original poster) at 12:50 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Just be a shoulder for him to cry on if he needs it. Your love and support is enough.

    Answer by Mom2Logan092310 at 9:30 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

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