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2 Bumps

confused how do you know when enough is really enough adult content

ive been with my man 16 long years married for 10..we have had problems like any normal relonship( nothing to crazy) well for the last 3 yrs ive felt like hes hiding stuff..he has a porn problem which yes it bothers me,,its ok to watch porn but not when it takes over your life and your up all night,looking at pics of women on myspace and at that lying and saying your not into certain races and types of women and than smart me lol checks history n hes looking at excately that...the girl he looked at on myspace ..where did he find her he never logged in just looked at her pics(shes gross looks like a man)now im just feeling like im ready to move on ..ive even felt like cheating on him cause i feel lonely and im not geting the attetion i need here..how do i know hes not talking to girls online i do know hes not hooking up cause hes here with me all day n if he goes out my kids go..idk anymore please help me out.counsling isnt it

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:15 AM on Oct. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • My husband went through porn addiction. He was looking at it several times a day. I put my foot down. I don't have an issue with porn as entertainment but not when it interfers with your family life, your sex life, and your marriage. So I told him enough. I told him I couldn't live that way. He tried to give it all up cold turkey and it was like withdraw. He's been crabby, pissing, had sexual issues, etc...but now he's really grown and although I believe he does it occasionally, he's not addicted. He goes to bed at night with me, does housework or plays video games instead. Also our sex life is awesome. Its been hard and rocky going but honestly he had to make the choice. If he didn't I am sure I would have left. Last week he actually told me one day he watched it and I was like okay. He then thanked me because he said that he had a problem and was glad I put my foot down.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Tell him what you told us, let him know you are close to leaving or cheating if he doesn't get himself back into your marriage. Sorry you are going through this:(
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:20 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • I would say that after 16 years of bein with the same woman, hes prolly jus lookin for somethin different... guys go through this phase later in life that even if they are not cheating, they will still try to flirt and picc up on girls (usually younger) not for any other reason than to see if they still have "game". By him wantin to look for something different I dont necessarily mean a different woman. but obviously hes lookin for somethin to break up his normal pattern. I would recommend just spicing it up a little bit. Buy a sexy outfit, set up a hot date for him, and re-romance him. I just think that yall may have gotten into sort of a routine, which is almost expected after 116 years and men dont like monotony (NOT monogamy). Of course it cant hurt anything, and this way you have at least tried. Just try to bring bac why you guys fell in love in the 1st place.
    Savage640

    Answer by Savage640 at 8:47 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • You shouldn't cheat because that would be disrespecting yourself. I guess maybe you should give him an ultimatum, me or the porn. But be prepared to really say goodbye if he doesn't change.
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 8:31 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • bump
    mommyny6

    Answer by mommyny6 at 8:52 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Even after 16 years, I don't think you should have to pretend to be another person just to feed into his desire for someone else. Seems like he's just into finding something different and if he's not willing to give up the porn, I'd hit the road. You shouldn't have to come second to anyone or anything. Best wishes.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 9:04 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Hang in there. I feel for you. I have married the same amount of time and it hurts sometimes. You can work this out. GL momma.
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 9:13 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • well surely if u have been together this long u can sit him down and talk to him about anything, Tell him how u really feel or is he the type to start turning it around on u! Maybe a counselor!
    patsymay84

    Answer by patsymay84 at 10:42 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

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