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Help me with my daughter.

Everyday all day it's a battle. It's about clothes! Clothes of all things. From the time I wake her up in the morning, until she picks out her pj's at night. She has a closet FULL of clothes. Nice clothes! But she will not wear anything that goes together. She'll scream at me, about clothes. If I say she needs to wear pants because it's cold, she flips, If i say anything about anything she flips. I've tried many things to help this situation. Her clothes are no longer in her closet they are in mine, so she can't just rip everything down all day. I've given her a couple outfits to choose from each day, she looks like a hobo EVERDAY! YOu would think we lived in a box. I'm tired of fighting with her so her clthes have been everwhere shes been wearing everything. Oh and did i mention how much laundry i was doing!

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Asked by Rachel24517 at 11:01 AM on Oct. 18, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 16 (2,548 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I would let her pick. I bet she looks like a cute hobo! Just make sure that whatever is in her drawers is weather appropriate. Take out all of her shorts and put them in the attic. So what if she doesn't match. This stage won't last long. Take pictures, you will miss it when she is older.

    Answer by mompam at 11:05 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • stop engaging in power struggles. don't give her a choice. let her know the tantrums are inappropriate and find other ways to deal with that behavior - in that case it's the behavior not the clothes that are the problem. my sister's kids never matched at that age. personally i don't think that matching clothes on a preschooler is a battle worth fighting. at that age every day my daughter wanted to wear ruffled poofy dresses with tights and patent leather mary janes - even when it was 100 degrees outside. luckily thanks to my stepmother she had a large supply. since your daughter seems to want to express herself via her clothing, is there a way you can compromise and have her help pick out her clothes (e.g. find some pants she likes)? is it really about the clothes or is this how she knows she can push your buttons?

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:08 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Wow you have your hands full for have a 9 and 10 yr old who does the same 9 yr old finally has started 10 yr old on the other hand still does this stuff..just try to keep up with the few choises for awhile and see if it helps 10 yr reminds me of punky bruster sometimes the way she peices her clothes my mother says its just a faze and will pass im really hoping so think letting her do this also gives her her own little personality and sure you don't think so when its totally mismatched ect..but try to just let her wear whatever as long as your not going anywhere important let her tell her when shes going to school it's your rules or out somewhere..but during the weekend she can choose her own of luck to you!!

    Answer by gracelessstar21 at 11:10 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • In my opinion there are many "fights" that you will have over the many years of childrearing and I think that this one is one that can go on the back burner. I have a 5 year old little girl that had insisted on wearing "boylike" clothes all of the time up until about 8 months ago. She (8 mos ago) finally decided that skorts were okay, not dresses.. but that may come in time. Children need to have something to be in control of and if it is clothes then okay, it could be about much bigger issues.
    Good luck.

    Answer by djbarkley1988 at 11:12 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • I have a friend who's DD is just like this. She lets her pick out ONE outfit a day & ONE set of PJ's. Her DD was also wanting to wear skirts on a freezing day, or look like a clown at church. She actually talked to her Dr. about it because she was not sure if she should allow it or not. Well....her Dr. told her to let her pick her clothes. Her Dr. said some kids prefer to learn the hard way & it did work....a little. She learned that certain clothes don't work for certain weather, but she still wants to mis-match everything. If she pulls her clothes out, she has to put them back. If she does not put them back, her mother takes her clothes & hides them...LOL! This really pisses off her DD. So, she is getting batter at picking up after herself, but it has been a battle. She is 8 now & actually dresses very cool. You can tell that she'll probably always be into fashion, maybe even a designer. She just loves clothes!

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:18 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Put any clothes you do not want her to pick in the attic or in boxes somewhere. Then let her pick whatever she wants. I would have a calm talk with her and tell her you understand her wanting to pick her clothes, but she gets to pick one outfit a day and you are the one who decides if a sweater or pants is needed because of the temperature. Come to a compromise on that. My DIL lets her girls where pants under dresses and skirts.....whatever it takes to get going in the AM! And she can probably where some things more than once if they are not sweaty or stained. Good luck!

    Answer by elizabr at 11:29 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Oh amen hunny i'am going through the same thing and she does look like a hobo must days as well, and the laundry im washing cloths that i know arent dirty so i took her dressers and her clothes out of her room and now i pick out what shes going to wear and since then she don't argue at all with me i say thats final.. somedays like on the weekends i let her go all out i let her pick whatever and she loves dress up, she can look like a hobo on the weekends lol... but she say "mommy i don't wanna look like a hobo" then there you go lol

    Answer by mumjames at 1:17 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • If she's staying inside, let her wear what she wants. It'll be a happier day for both of you because you're not bickering at her for it. Let her look the way she wants to. If she goes to childcare, let her wear what she wants. When she realizes that other kids don't dress the same way, she might change her mind to fit in with the other kids. While I think kids should be who they are and want to be, this will help her find another way to be unique. Many days, I'll come home from work and my daughter is wearing a dress with sweat pants or long sleeves and shorts. Pick your battles; this is one that's not worth fighting.. Trust me.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 2:10 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • i totally agree with's soo not worth the battle. My DS insists on wearing his pjs to the daycare at my gym some days...i let him but insist on a coat...she will grow out of it sooner if she is not getting a reaction out of you..she is looking for control...

    Answer by coolchic320 at 2:22 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Either let her wear what she wants or put your foot down and tell her she's wearing what you want her to wear, no arguing and no fits and if she throws a fit she'll be punished. When she throws a fit punish her, if that doesn't work pop her on the butt and make her sit down till she chills out. A few times of that and she'll stop. She just needs to realize YOU are in charge not her.

    Answer by BigfordBrat at 3:57 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

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