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Do you ever just want to be wanted?

Im a single mom who recently left an abusive relationship. I want to feel like someone finds me attractive. Its been 5 months since I left and it makes me sad that no one even hits on me.

When I was in the relationship with my child's father there was a guy that used to hit on me ALL the time... he is known for hitting on everyone really. When I left my relationship and told him about leaving, he never hit on me. In fact, he would often just ask me about other women and their current "status" like he was hitting on them through me. I even made a comment that he never hits on me and he said he always USED to hit on me.

I figured it was just that he was all talk and no action... then my friend came into town the other day and he came and hung out with us. She flirted with him and they ended up hooking up a few days later! For some reason this makes me feel REALLY bad about myself. WTF

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Jul. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Consider it a blessing in disquise. Maybe it was fun before but now that you are available, he doesn't want to get involved for his own reasons or he doesn't want to tic your old flame off. First things first: find out who you are and what makes you happy. It's important not to get into anything until you have some notion of why you ended up being abused. You want to do better next time. Think of it like this: the guys who will hit on you now won't be the type you deserve or want a year from now when you are confident in yourself with or without at guy or his glance. The ones you deserve and want in a year or so probably don't consider you their type - yet! It's worth working and waiting for it!

    Answer by manna1qd at 4:08 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • BTW, yes. I know what it is like to want to be wanted. I think we all do.

    Answer by manna1qd at 4:09 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • I know the feeling first hand. Find something that makes you feel pretty, your confidence is just low. Beleive me men smell self esteem and they like it! I feel better when i am tan ( i know dumb right) What ever makes you feel good. a new hair cut Whatever. It works wonders. Good Luck from one single mom to another

    Answer by clds0507 at 5:06 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • Men read body language. If you are down then they can read it. They are attracted to confidence. You don't even have to BE confident to come across as confident. Men love smiles. Stand up straight, walk with your head up and with a smile for the world to see. There are some days I don't feel like smiling but I do it bc I know it attracts attention. I love attention. Be selective though in who you hook up with. That guy sounds like he just wanted a piece of action. Don't be that to any man. You don't have to settle for being just another notch on a man's belt. You are a strong woman for leaving an abusive relationship. I own a group on that subject. Contact me if you need moral support. Hugs.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:15 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • Get a nice pair of high heeled shoes. I was in the same boat. I left my husband because he made me feel like I wasn't good enough. I felt SOOOO unattractive. Then for Halloween that year I dressed up as Audrey Hepburn and wore a fantastic pair of black high heels that I borrowed from a friend. They make you stand taller and make your posture better. Otherwise you'd fall down. The right pair of shoes will make you feel sexy. Men are simple creatures. They basically do what they're told. If he sees a girl that KNOWS that she is sexy he will believe it. BAM...turn a few heads and it'll boost your confidence even more. I always say I'm going to write a book called High Heels Changed My Life. Trust me on this one...

    Answer by hkpl8 at 6:45 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • i was soo the same way right after my divorce...i just stumbled on my current man by accident at work....i didnt think anyone wanted a slightly pudgy divorced single mom.....who maybe was a little emotionally unstable and annoyingly clingy at times...but i found one, or rather he found me! you may feel like its hard to get a guys attention, but once you get one they all seem to start coming! me if you wanna talk!

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 9:48 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • I like my looks but I am unconfident when I first meet men I have them wanting me and then when we are together they see how clingy and unstable I am they leave. I work out I whiten my teeth I have long hair. I weigh 125 and I am 5'8" but the lack of confidence sends them running be confident and who you are and they will come like LoriaAnn said....

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:20 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

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