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3 Bumps

What would you do?

So my brother-in-law, who is a huge asshole and who I've gotten in passive aggressive tiffs with, constantly criticizes my 18 mos. old daughter! He says things like 'oh how charming' when she is throwing a fit or yells, and he is constantly saying that it is my 'bad parenting' that results in her acting like a toddler. She is a toddler! She is not spoiled, she is just a regular kid. My husband's family has never been around children. Ours is the first grandkid and they have no extended family, so this is the first child they have ever been around. It makes my blood boil every time he makes these comments. The last time, I snapped at him 'the best parents are the ones without kids' and he shut up, but I am sick and tired of it. Everyone in his family dismisses him as the ass he is (childless, of course) and my DH keeps telling me not to let it get to me. But I can't help it! I am one comment away from cussing him out.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Oct. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • If it makes you feel better, go ahead and cuss him out. However, I don't think he's worth the effort. The bad thing about it is your child is being labeled unfairly. Can't you just stay away from them?
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 2:19 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Just ignore him and limit your contact with him (and anyone else that's causing you grief). He doesn't have a clue what children are like and you can scream and cuss at him all you want, it's not going to change his opinion. He also probably loves to see you get riled so don't give him the satisfaction.
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 2:31 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • He's an idiot... laugh him off. You are only making yourself angry and he sounds really self-centered. He probably doesn't think anything of it later.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 2:38 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • When we were little we were always told "sticks and stones", but as adults we know that is not true. It hurts to be told that we are bad parents even though we do the best we can. I can think of a few times that my kids threw fits and embarrassed me in the store because they are kids. I would not have the courage to keep quiet as long as you have. I would have told him that if he wants to raise kids than he needs to get someone pregnant. Preferably someone who can actually stand him. That is what I would have told him, but you need to tell him that he is butting his nose in where it doesn't belong. Being a parent is a hard job and he needs to learn to respect you. If you trust him, let him watch her for an hour or two. Maybe if he has one on one experience, then he might be able to see how difficult it is to take care of kids. Good luck..

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 2:43 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • If he is out of line, tell him off. I have a sister in law who was always running her mouth. Everyone thought she was a pain in the rear too. But no one ever said anything. She just kept ruining every get together, finally one day I had had enough and just went off on her. That was over a year ago and ever since every time we are all together she keeps herself in check. I think I did everyone a favor and just maybe you will too.
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 2:54 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Do it! Let off your steam and blow your top, he has no idea how hard it is to be a parent. Tell him he should try it if he's such the darn expert. I'd never let a child-less person tell me that my child is spoiled or i'm not raising him/her right just because they are not acting in a manner that they "BELIEVE" children should act. Tell him to keep his comments to himself until he pops a kid out between his legs or finds someone who will do it for him.
    VanessaMomof2

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 3:23 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • eh...he has no children and one day when he does and his toddler has made it clear he or she would rather throw themselves around and yell and scream...look straight at him and say "Oh how charming"...with a bit of sarcasm...I always ignore the people who have no children nor experience with children...they will have their day and when they do they will be begging you for help...also have your SO tell BIL to shut the....up it's his brother!
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 4:08 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • I would say if it would make you feel better then do it
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 8:47 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • i would tell him that until he can learn how to respect others and how to act he need not worry about how my child is acting.. but alot of other posts are right.. he wont learn just because you tell him off... my fil is a total ASS all the time.. constantly and we have told him to cut out the remarks or to mind his own business.. he doesnt listen so it didnt do us any good to get angry and tell him anything.. cut him out of yalls life if possible
    Ross2010

    Answer by Ross2010 at 10:54 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

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