Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

i am a young girl 22 with three kids and i been with my husband for about 8 years now..when i was first pregant i found him talking to his ex girlfreind but i didnt leave him

he said he would stop..well after about three years after that i found him talking to the same girl i was very hurt but still didnt leave bz of the kids and then we bought a house and the truck...this was like every six months i would find him talking to her..i would ask him why do you talk to her she has two different kids from two diff men, and she's trash he would just use excuse after excuse ... well a couple of months ago i started talking to a guy bz i was felt hurt and i sleep with him 4 times...now about four days ago i found out that he is talking to her again i dont know what to do at this point i mean i messed up too and now we have three kids and he cryed and begged me not to leave and i dont care about us no more i feel like if i dont get out now it will never stop... should i leave or bz i did wrong take him back!!

Answer Question
 
carnline

Asked by carnline at 2:31 PM on Oct. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (55 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Stay, just expect him to have fun on the side with her every 6 months. KTHNXBYE!
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 2:33 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • but what about what i did?
    carnline

    Comment by carnline (original poster) at 2:35 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • I think the best thing for both of you to do is Think about how All of this is effecting your 3 Children!

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 2:36 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Honey, you should have left him a long time ago. Then, two wrongs don't make a right. How is me telling you to leave going to affect your decision considering you haven't left even after you know he has been with her numerous times?
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 2:37 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Ok, I am going to try to say this as nicely as possible. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. So what does his past behavior tell you? It tells me that he will continue with this habit of talking to the other girl. It also tells me that you may be prone to looking outside of the relationship when you feel hurt. Even in a good marriage both people will feel hurt at times but that doesn't mean you can just run to someone else. What you did was wrong, and what he has been doing was wrong. You could give it one more shot and maybe things would be different this time, but there is also a good chance that history will repeat itself. You have to decide what you are willing to accept and go from there.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:40 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • i am so tried crying my eyes out and i just want to know why he loves her no me but she all he says is i am so i am so i will change and stop talking to her and it will brake my kids heart leaving but i hate going through this... his mom put up with my dad cheating never said nothing i guess he wants me to be like that but its been 5 years dealing with this!!! thanks everyone i just feel so alone
    carnline

    Comment by carnline (original poster) at 2:47 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • its never easy..i have a daughter and i realize that now my decisions affect her and not just me. I do agree if you simply arent happy its not good for the both of you but unfortunately if he is also looking elsewhere..talking to his ex he is obviously not happy either & he will continue to lie to you over and over. I am in a similar situation but I never cheated..everyone makes mistakes but you need to decide whats right for you and your kids....not what happend in the past plain and simple, life is too short
    AlexxasMama

    Answer by AlexxasMama at 2:54 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Just leave if you are not happy then your kids wont be happy either move on and let him move on too maybe this would be good for the both of ya and the kids

    good luck
    cnoble927

    Answer by cnoble927 at 2:56 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • dont u ever think about the children
    diana398

    Answer by diana398 at 3:06 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • If I was in your shoes I would think about the example I am setting for my children. If you have girls they are learning that it is ok for a man to treat his wife like dirt and they watch you stay instead of standing up for what you deserve. If you have boys they are learning from their father that it is ok to treat a woman in this way. It is time to insist upon more for the sake of your children. It sucks and it will be hard but you and they deserve better- whether you get out of this relationship or demand more from it. The same goes for the future- it really defeats the purpose if you dump this guy and end up with someone just like him in six months. You have to be strong and demand more out of your relationship and if the person you're with can't give that to you then you have to move on. Good luck!
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:07 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.