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How do you deal with a child who is almost 3 that is very hateful and just will not listen?

I'm a single mother and my daughter will be 3 in January. She has recently picked up an attitude problem. She has started hitting, biting, pinching, throwing things at me when she doesnt get her way. She is very demanding and extremely stubborn. She has also started telling me to shut up every time I try to talk to her. I feel like I'm the only person going through this and have exhausted all means that I can think of to try to make it stop. Any suggestions?

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Asked by skilasmom85 at 2:27 PM on Oct. 28, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (8)
  • That's why they call it the terrible twos, lol. She's probably just going through a phase where she's trying to test you. Just be consistent with your discipline so she learns there's consequences for her treating you like that, and make sure you in turn reward her for being nice. Eventually she'll get the message.

    Answer by mamapotter at 2:33 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • The terrible threes, then are so not alone..
    My daughter does not listen to anyone....I found that the time out chair works, when she is bad I take away her bikes, playing with her friends etc.. away.. We now have a sticker calender up and everytime she is good she gets a sticker, it is towards her earning her quad that she wants..
    It is hard but you have to be consistant.

    Answer by Dannee at 2:38 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Either ignore her when she asks for something and then throws a fit, or sit her down and tell her, hey you are not allowed to hit, pinch, punch, or throw things at me or anyone else. You are not going to get ur way so stop. If you don't like spanking, do it anyways and then try to put her somewhere where she can't get out and tell her in a loud but appropriate voice to not move or anything. If she gets violent, spank her

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Ahh.. the terrible three's..can be worse then the terrible two's. This is the indepentent, testing the waters, see how much I can get away with phase, and for you it is the "OH GOD, What happen to my nice little girl" phase. The only thing I found that worked was learning to pick my battles and either ignore the tantrums or put her in time-out. Thankfully it is a phase, but whatever you find that works be consistent. Goodluck, my daughter was a nightmare when she was 3..sign...

    Answer by Izzyscrazymom at 2:52 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Set the rules now and don't back down. If she says something mean to you, put her in time out. Make sure she stays there for 3 minutes. Do not give in. If she keeps getting, keep putting her back. She's got to know that her behavior will not be tolerated or it will escalate.
    Also, use lots of positive reinforcement for when she does well. Reward every little thing if you can! Stickers are great. Or "special time" with mommy or grandma. Be creative.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I would consistently spank her behind. Now is the time to gain control and teach her to honor authority. Unless you get a handle on this now, she is likely to have a lot of trouble if she goes to public school. It is not something that she will outgrow.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:54 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Oh yeah, that is smart! Punishing violence with violence. I am not against spanking but it is hypocritical to say "dont hit" and thing smack her for it. The punishment has to fit the crime and at the same time, teach the child HOW they can change their unwanted behavior. Not only am I a parent, and have taking care of kids since I was 9,I have an associate's in ECE(early childhood education) I know what I am talking about. For example: if she throws something like a toy at you, take it away and make her earn it back by showing good behavior or whatever you choose for her to do to earn it back. Of course, nothing will work unless you are consistant with however you choose to discipline.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • bite them back not hard but enough to let them know it hurts

    Answer by RussoFamily at 2:23 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

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