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Is it bad that this brings me joy?

My daughters bio father is not involved much. He sees her about 2 hours a month. He texted me (after 5 weeks of no contact at all)and asked if he could see her. I told him I was not sure he is so in and out that he is hurting her more than anything. So I made him a deal. It would be up to her to decide if she wanted to go over to his house or hang out with him. He called me on his lunch break that day asking if he could come see her for a min. so I told him to meet me at her day care. He came inside with me and she wouldnt go to him and one of her friends at the school said to the teacher "Lillie said she doesnt like her daddy Clint." right in front of him. Then he picked her up outside and she said "I dont like you." This made me so happy. I think he finally gets the clue hearing it from her instead of me. Does this make me an awful person? She is too smart to believe me when I tell her "daddy loves you."


Asked by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Oct. 28, 2008 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I don't think that your response makes you an awful person - you have been hurt because your daughter has been hurt by the fact that her father hasn't put in any effort with his child.

    However, I would tend to believe that your daughter's response is not a final judgment on her part about her true feelings for her dad. I bet she's confused and made as hell by his inconsistencies and in her little head this comes out as "I don't like you". I do hope that her father hearing that will really impact him and wake him up. Children need their parents in their lives (when those parents are appropriate and safe) and the absence of a parent can really negatively impact a child. Best of luck.

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 2:47 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I think it's sad. Not good or bad. Just very, very sad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • sometimes children are the most honest creatures. i think it's time to put all personal feelings aside and talk with him and see what he wants. he needs to know that he needs to be a constant figure. you can only help him if he wants to help himself ya know. i would want to knw what went through his mind at that time when she said it. id also wanna know why can't he be constant. i'm think it's time to put a foot down because youre right......he can't keep coming in and out like a double hinged door. im pray everything gets better. i know how you're feeling because of all the hurt, but you gotta keep it civil until he's either back constant in her life or out of her life.

    Answer by ssnelson26 at 2:46 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Oh trust me, we have talked he always has a new excuse for not seeing her. Including but not limited to headaches, stomachaches, going to dinner with in-laws. Its like...ummmm I take care of her when I am sick all of the time and do your in-laws not know you have a kid?? Trust me, I have put my foot down. I have even asked him to give her up because my husband it a great father figure and he wants to adopt her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • It is understandable how you feel. I would suggest that you talk with the father and let him know that his daughter needs him and needs him to be an consistently active force in her life . She need to learn from a man that she is special, that she has protection, and love, from a man (a bit different from mama). Otherwise I think the lack of involvement from dad will be harmful for her in her older years. If the dad can not be a strong, positive, loving force in her life I hope that you have a real man that could fill the void for your daughter. And I think she is to young to decide for herself if she should or should not see dad. You and the father should do what is best for your daughter.
    good luck.

    Answer by joyvegie at 3:32 PM on Oct. 28, 2008