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2 Bumps

What do you do about a bully when..

it's your own child?

She's perfect at home. She's an excellent student. She's very sporty and musical. She has 2 best friends. I just found out today she's a bully. She threatens kids, she scares them, she pulls mean pranks on them.. She's never hit anybody or anything, but hurting somebody's feeling by humiliate them is just as bad.
What can I do? How should I talk to her?
She's 11.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Oct. 18, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (4)
  • oh yes, talk to her, maybe you should research on the effects of bullying and show her what she is doing with this.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:38 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • The first thing you have to make clear is that it is clearly not acceptable and a fairly harsh punishment would be given out. She needs to be taught empathy for others but she also needs a consequence that will send a clear messagfe. In my house she would also be told if she does it again..even once..the punishment will be worse next time. You have to been extremely firm and consistant here.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:42 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Acknowledge the problem Communicate directly with her...Be a hands-on parent talk to her and be ready to listen. Decrease violence at home. Turn off violent TV and video games. And also monitor your own behavior.
    The best thing to just talk to your daughter explain research show HER what she is doing is wrong. Help her help herself. If you where ever bullied give her the "victims" point of view. Maybe she had never been bullied and teaching her how much she is hurting someone feels like.
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 8:43 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • I am dealing with issues right now with my daughter being bullied so it's the other side of the coin.
    We watched 20/20 last week that had an episode on bullying. I made my daughter watch it with me. They interviewed 2 teenagers who USED to be bullys but had turned their life around and not doing this anymore. Both of the teens stated the reason they did it was so they wouldn't be picked on first. In other words they would react before anyone had the chance to react to them. They were both very insecure so this is what they did to protect themselves.
    Maybe your daughter has had this happen to her in the past so she is now putting her guard up.
    Hope this helps:-)
    SunnieStyles

    Answer by SunnieStyles at 7:56 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

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