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Have I failed as a parent or is there something seriously wrong with my son?

My son will be 3 in January. He doesn't know very many words. He doesn't call me mom. He can't verbally tell me when he's hungry or thirsty or needs anything. He didn't start crawling until 11 months and walking until 18. I don't understand. My 10 month old just pointed at a baby in a book full of kids and adults and said "baby". My son can't do that. I feel like maybe I neglected him or something. Even though I give him lots of attention. Maybe I never spent enough time teaching him. Although I probably give my daughter less attention then I gave my son cause I have two... but I still feel like it's me that he's so slow. People are always telling me what he should be doing. He use to count a little bit. He doesn't anymore. He does that a lot. Learns things and then stops doing them. Other kids his age seem so much smarter then him. I mean I think he is a wonderful, happy 2 year old. He doesn't throw tamtrums. IDK what to do..

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Oct. 18, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (20)
  • Have you had him evaluated for Autism? Not that it is that, but you never know, and the sooner you know about it the better you can help your son. I would run your concerns by your doctor.

    Answer by CarriePM at 10:49 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Talk to your doctor... TOMORROW! Call and make an appointment.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 10:50 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • I would definetly have him tested for autism. Its entirely possible that your son is just going to be a little slow on the pickup, or may just get bored with stuff too quickly to really hang onto it in his memory, but better safe than sorry.

    Answer by Skipo510 at 10:53 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Everything is not your fault. It is up to you though to see that he is evaluated. It is important that this is done as early as possible. If there is a problem it needs to be addressed as early as possible. Read up on autism. Get him into the Dr.'s immediately.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:54 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • My son turned 2 in July and is right about where yours is (sounds like anyway). I have been worried about him too. I was finally able to get an appointment to have his hearing ans speech tested in early Nov., I cannot wait. I want him to talk to me sooooo bad. He only says a few words like "hi, mom, dad". But he has been saying those since about 18 months. My son won't verbally tell me what he wants or needs either but he does understand certain words. He walked and crawled at the average age but the talking not so much. It's very frustrating, I understand. Feel free to PM me or hit me up on the chat, if u would like to send me a FR.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 10:56 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • I just looked and thre a number of groups on here concerning autism.
    Go to them and see if you can get information. My grandson has autism and what you are saying seems similar.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:57 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Have him seen by a doc. He could be a slow lerner or could be autism. There is nothing you did wrong! See a doc frist. There is lots of help you can get for that.

    Answer by ddsladyx at 10:57 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • my friends son is like this and i mentioned that you might think it was autism but he is very social there are things he does that are very "unautistic" (yes i made that up) another mom told me her son was like tha ta tthe same age, they put ear tubes in and he improved quickly!

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 11:01 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • I would call your ped asap tomorrow morning. He needs to be evaluated for at least speech. He might have other delays as well, because they go hand in hand.

    My oldest was speech delayed. He could understand everything but couldn't say much. He had several years of speech therapy and by the time he was 6, you could not tell. The best thing is for him to be tested.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 11:03 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Quit blaming yourself, first of all. That kind of guilt won't help your son, and it definitely won't help you. Have him evaluated for Autism Spectrum Disorder. I had my daughter evaluated when she was about 36 months old. It was an extensive evaluation by a team of specialists. They diagnosed her with autism. It was very hard to hear, but once we had the diagnosis, we were able to start getting her the therapies she needed. She used words only as labels, and didn't call me "Mommy". She called me "Mommy" for the first time about two weeks after my birthday, when she was almost four years old.  I thought it was the best present. On my birthday this year, I made pancakes, and she said, "Those pancakes smell delicious!" That was the best birthday present--she used a complete sentence, and it was appropriate! BTW, she turns seven this year.


    Answer by jsbenkert at 11:05 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

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