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My son is having umbilical hernia surgery next month, should I tell his father?

I'm married but I have a 4 year old son from a previous relationship and he is having umbilical hernia surgery next month. Doctor say he will be put to sleep so naturally I'm a little worried. I want to tell his bio father but he hasn't been as active in his son's life since I got married 4 months ago. He literally went from seeing him every other weekend to not seeing him at all these last 4 months that I've been married. He's only called twice and both times I gave the phone right to my son to talk. I don't give him updates on anything else going on in son's life unless he asks (and he never does) so why should I tell him about this? But then again, it is surgery and I kinda feel he should know. Oh, and I don't think he would show up because even though he only lives about 45minutes from me, he complained about the drive the times he would come up for the EOW visits.


Asked by keisha613 at 11:26 PM on Oct. 18, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 26 (26,906 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • tell him, he prob. wont show up or be worried but at least you told him and he can never throw it back at you. good luck to your lil one!

    Answer by VERONICAS_MOM at 12:43 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I would tell him. He should be able to make the choice to be there or not. Since every surgery comes with risks, his dad needs to know.

    Good luck!

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:30 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Let him know. At least then if he doesn't show up it was his choice and he can't blame you for not being there for his son. Really though it sounds to me like its not that he doesn't want to be there for his boy, but that he feels awkward/upset about your new marriage or feels like your marriage was your way of trying to drive him out of your and his son's lives. Either way, definetly let him know.

    Answer by Skipo510 at 11:31 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Yes, tell him, no matter how much you would rather not. He is his father and he has a right to know. Think of it on the other foot, you'd be upset...

    Answer by donnareedonLSD at 11:37 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • i would tell him because if later on down the road he finds out n will get mad and cause problems because u didnt let him know.well good luck to u n ur lil one

    Answer by sandi_361 at 11:39 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Of course tell him!! What if the tables were turned?

    Answer by kbakeman at 11:41 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Yes you should absolutely tell him.

    Answer by miasmommy21407 at 1:42 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Definitely definitely tell him. He might be having trouble coming around right now because he might feel the situation is awkward, but I would most definitely tell him something like this.

    Answer by BigfordBrat at 9:23 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I would tell him.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:06 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • *About every other weekend, not exactly every other weekend. He has had other gaps of times before.

    Comment by keisha613 (original poster) at 11:29 PM on Oct. 18, 2010