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3 Bumps

Going anon here

My dh sent me an email (we had a huge argument this weekend and he is now out of town) asking a bunch of questioins i dont even know the answers to. Are these easy for ANYONE to answer or is it just me?
1. what defines us as a family?
2. WHat are our goals
3. what do we want for our children's education?
and so on...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Oct. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • OK. Here's some ideas: 1. what defines us as a family? You & me & the love we share; the choices we make together; That whatever happens we are going to get through it together because we are family.

    2. WHat are our goals? To get our bills paid off. To save for a vacation next year. To spend some quality time together. To encourage eachother. To continue with our education if we need to. To get involved into a hobby or sport that we can all be a part of (Like laser tag or swimming, hiking, camping) To put some money in a savings account for retirement.

    3. what do we want for our children's education? To find different ways to teach them values, respect, and how to prepare them for their future. If they're having a hard time in school to find an outside source to help them improve in their skills, weakness, self esteem. To be involved with their teachers, activities and or sports. Hope this helps! Ask me more if u need 2
    Prayerpartner

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 1:14 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • No, not easy to answer as they are very serious issues. I would email him back telling him that those are all issues that you should discuss together in person.
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 11:49 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • This is actually a common exercise they do in therapy. You each write down your ideal goals for each situation then compare them and discuss them. Just think about each question and answer it honestly with responses that you are willing to stick with. I think it's great that your hubby is so able to communicate.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:13 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • ditto what Kword said
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 11:51 PM on Oct. 18, 2010


  • This would be a great time to sit down and write about these questions, then discuss them when he comes home. Good questions though! Not a bad thing for everyone to re assess every now and then.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:55 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • I think you guys should sit down and discuss them together,those are questions you both need to see and compare what each other think.
    ProudMomma2011

    Answer by ProudMomma2011 at 12:01 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • not easy to answer... sounds to me like he is feeling like there is a wedge between you two and you dont seem to see eye to eye on things and when he tries to talk to you it leads to more arguing and nothing gets settled.. driving a greater wedge btw you guys...
    Ross2010

    Answer by Ross2010 at 12:27 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Well, sitting down with him (we tried this as well) did not go well either. I just don't know. I feel kind of like life is happening TO me rather than me dreaming and making goals.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:59 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • Yeah, I can see why you feel that way. These are huge questions, and he's devaluing them by throwing them at you in an email. These are in person topics, none of which are to be taken lightly. Even if it causes a fight, you guys need to sit down and discuss this stuff. There are no easy answers. Everything will require discussion. That's just reality.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:04 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • We write family goals every year at New Years and check them in the summer. EVERYONE contributes as the kids have goals too.
    We have a journal devoted just to "Family Goals" and it has every years goals written down with some checked off, some not.

    We write the persons name or family, then what the goal is. ex. Daughter - Take a piano lesson, Family - Go on a camping trip...

    For the others... these are BIG questions that you should think about (clearly he is) and discuss without anger. Wanting different things for the children's education should not be a fight. You both want what's best for the kids so it will come down to what you can afford, what is realistic and what the KIDS want.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 1:32 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

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