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2 Bumps

My daughter's best friend for the last 5 years has been her cousin from her dad side.

In March after a two year relationship my daughter broke up with her boyfriend. Her cousin knew how much he broke her heart. They promised never to date who ever each other had. Well over the last couple of weeks her cousin has been acting strange, always giving her excuses why they cant get together or just avoiding her. Turns out that on Sunday via a message she found out that her cousin was in a relationship with her ex boyfriend. Now that the holidays are coming up should my daughter forgive her and attend all the the family get togethers my daughter says no, her dad says to let it go they deserve each other and that not to show that she cares so much and move on. I want to support my daughter but my husband says that if I do than I am getting involved. What would you do?

Answer Question
 
Rosivick

Asked by Rosivick at 7:09 AM on Oct. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (76 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • IMHO, you both should be supporting your daughter. If she's old enough to have been in a 2 year relationship, then she's old enough to make the decision if she wants to participate in family gatherings.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 7:14 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • It would be awkward for her if the cousin brought her ex bf to the family gatherings.
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 7:19 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Tacky and I hope she does not show up with the guy. Heartless.....It won't last.
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 7:40 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • If the cousin was hiding the relationship, then she KNOWS that bringing him to any holiday function would be just awful. What a sad thing for your DD.
    MeggieSwan

    Answer by MeggieSwan at 7:43 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I agree, you should support your daughter, and your hubby should follow suit. She's hurt, she was in a relationship, not just a fling. And her cousin, her best friend, went behind her back and is now dating her ex. I say support your daughter, and shame on your husband for trying to push you to stay out of it.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 7:49 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I say support your daughter...she needs your support!!
    TJones32

    Answer by TJones32 at 7:52 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I say that she is probably old enough to make her own decisions as to whether she wants to attend family functions or not (she has been in a 2 year relationship). And I would support my daughter in whatever she chose to do about it, but I would try to not influence her. I would give her advice on what I would do if I were in her shoes...if she asked. And I would tell her father that even though I want to support her and not make her attend gatherings is interfering, then he is doing the same thing by telling her that she is going to have to go.
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 8:40 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I think your husband is right. You didn't mention how old the girls are, but when you're young, you don't have the same perspective about broken hearts that you might get when you're older.
    She may feel it's the end of the world.
    But I don't think it would be the end of the world if she decides to no attend the family functions, it may be better this time, no one wants a fight. . She may actually feel better about it by the time the holidays roll around.
    Let her deal with it in her own way. It will work itself out.
    My mom's sister married a man that had dated both my mom and their younger sister!
    I'm sure the cousin didn't start dating him to hurt her, these things happen sometimes.
    that's life.
    I hope they can be friends again.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 9:00 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Forget what your husband has said and support your daughter. We know that the other girl was way out of line for dating someone that was forbidden. Your daughter needs your support to help her through this difficult situation. If spending holiday time with the family, knowing he may be there will be a problem for your daughter, then she shouldn't attend. Help her as much as possible because she needs you...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 11:40 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

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