Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I get dad to deal with the situation?

We have been catching my stepson is lies lately. I went to see a family counselor (because I am a new full time step mom and need advice) who said part of that comes with the age- to get away with what he can. He is 11 yrs old. My ss has also started twisting things I say to my husband to try to get me in trouble with him. My husband is sweeping it under the rug. But this is upsetting me. I am this child's primary caregiver most days. He sees his bio mom 2 times a year. And I am the one he comes to when he wants just about ANYTHING. If my husband won't address it with him, is it out of place for me to? My guess is that his mom did a number on him when he saw her and that is why this behavior. We know she was telling everyone, "Tara is not J's mom." After more than 2 years of not caring about walking away from her son, now she cares and is starting drama.

Answer Question

Asked by taradionne0213 at 10:38 AM on Oct. 19, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • therapist can tell ya best

    Answer by Zoeyis at 10:40 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • It sounds like you guys might need some family counseling. If only for the sake of adjusting to this new family unit. I think it's normal that at his age and with the fact that his dad just remarried you that he would be going through some emotional stuff and feel the need to lie. Lying is very common around that age (not that it makes it okay). Of course, your DH is he "actual" parent, and if you can't get him to step up, you will probably need a third party to tell him that. He may just not hear it coming from you, ya know?
    I hope things get better! =)

    Answer by musicpisces at 10:47 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • You know it is not true and so does the ss. It cannot become drama to you unless you allow it to. If it gets to you the bm wins. Tell the boy like it is and don't play into the drama.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 1:49 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.