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My 9 month old hits me!

I've been noticing lately that my 9 month old is in his hitting stage. When I pick him up from his nap or play or whatever, he wacks me right across the face, or pulls my hair, etc. It's painful! I tell him in a firm voice "no! be gentle" and he just looks at me and does it again! I have been googling around and found it IS a stage, but how long does this last? I'm a first time Mom with another on the way due in a few weeks, and I'd like to know now so I can try & prevent it for my 2nd! I partly want to blame my husband because he rough-houses with our son so much cuz "he's a man!"

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Asked by SweetPieMama24 at 10:53 AM on Oct. 19, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 15 (2,066 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • my 16 month old son still does this. its only gotten worse. lol

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:57 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Keep saying no and telling him that this is a no no! he will eventually get it.

    Answer by older at 11:01 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I was going to say that he is learning the behavior from someone since it is not common behavior for a child that age. Then I read the last sentence of your question and there is your answer! If you had said that he was 18 months or more then I would say the behavior is more common because he would be entering the terrible two's, three's etc. I think you REALLY have to have a sit down talk with your husband about this rough housing. The child is TOO young for this and he may be creating a very BIG problem for you all in the future. The roughing around has to stop. Your Son is showing signs of frustration and anger & it not natural for his age. He is frustrated because he doesn't understand what his Daddy is doing. He may be partly scared and protecting himself. I hate to say it but it is traumatizing for him. He needs to be nurtured and reassured that he is safe with you both. He needs to feel protected which he doesn't. CONT:

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:03 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Cont: Please have that talk with your Husband tonight. He is teaching the inappropriate behavior to the child and then you are saying "no" to the baby when he hits you. The child is very confused by this. Nurture an comfort now or this behavior will only escalate into full blown agression later. Good luck.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:06 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • He's only 9 months old....he's not hitting to hit, he's trying to explore, touch, feel and gain control of his swinging arms, it's not intentional...this isn't your typical toddler hitting stage that you can control.

    Yes, you can take his hand and say No, no hit mommy (so eventually he can learn), but he's too young to understand. He's not like a toddler thinking "I'm going to smack moms nose to prove i'm in charge" he's just not coordinated yet

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 11:09 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • When my little ones would hit I would take their hand and move it away from me, give them a stern look and use a very firm tone and say "NO hitting. That hurts". Be firm and be consistent --- do it every time he hits. I would also talk to dad about the rough play and tell him it is not setting a good example. I would also have dad back you up on the no hitting.


    Answer by MizLee at 11:17 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • My daughter would do this and still does once in a while (she is 13 months). When she first started we would take her hand and rub it on our cheek really soft and say "be nice". Now when she touches someone's face to rough, we just have to say "be nice", and she will start rub her hand really soft on their cheek. It is cute. You could try that?

    Answer by moviemom22 at 11:43 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Your husband may be contributing to it by rough housing, but as you read online this is a phase that most kids go thru whether they rough house or not so I wouldn't blame your husband entirely, although stressing to him that their play needs to keep some boundaries would be a good idea. For my DD when she hit this phase at about a year I would tell her No Hitting very firmly and then I would put her down and walk away. Eventually we even did time out for it but I think your son is a little young for that. Basically, you need to teach him that this action has a negative result. Just telling him no teaches him you will scold him but if you put him down and walk away he will soon realize he loses your attention when he does this behavior. It won't switch off like a light but it should help lessen the length of the phase. I think my DD went thru this for about a month or so before it stopped. GL!

    Answer by MaryMW at 12:10 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Thank you everyone!

    Comment by SweetPieMama24 (original poster) at 1:03 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • He actually had his 9 month checkup last night and I mentioned it to the dr, he said it's totally normal, but you tell him "no that hurts" and put him down & walk away for a minute or two. That way he will know that by hitting, he won't get mommy's attention. (I think another poster put that, to walk away).

    Comment by SweetPieMama24 (original poster) at 12:50 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

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