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2 Bumps

Is it ever okay to get married for reasons other than love?

Long story short: I have two kids. Work full time. Full time Graduate student.
I want to work less, spend more time with my kids, and do better in school.
All I have to do is marry their father and share some of the responsibility that I've been handling on my own for the last 5 years....Problem is, I'm not in love with him.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Oct. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • me personally, I wouldn't

    what happens if you meet the love of your life in 6 mos?
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 12:42 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • do you want to marry him? if you do, then I think it's your choice.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:42 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • No.
    You will probably end up unhappy and resentful.
    try_again

    Answer by try_again at 12:43 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • In my opinion, that would be a bad mistake. If you don't love your partner, things may be easier for a little while, but in the end, you will end up resenting/hating each other, and trust me, that will have a HUGELY negative effect on the kids. I know, I was one of those kids. The BEST thing my parents ever did for me was get divorced (18 years too late, but still...).
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 12:43 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I wouldn't. What if you meet the love of your life in the coming months? What if he does? As hard as it might be now, it will only get more difficult if things start to unravel after a marriage.
    zava_t

    Answer by zava_t at 12:44 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Um...married our not, he's their father. He should be helping out whether you're married or not! A husband doesn't raise kids, a father does.
    And no, I wouldn't marry him just cause you had children. Big mistake for all.
    an-apple-a-day

    Answer by an-apple-a-day at 12:45 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Okay, I may be the unpopular one, but many other cultures besides us marry out of arrangement and status and fall in love with their partner BECAUSE they are husband and wife. I think people are so focused on the idea of being in love to notice that it could be right in front of them theh whole time!I think that loving someone, and making it work is a choice. You cared about him enough to have two kids with him, why couldn't you learn to love him?
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:46 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • It never works out if you are just staying together for the kids sake.You are actually doing the oppisite.And in the end the only ones that are hurting are your children.
    bvannkissy

    Answer by bvannkissy at 12:47 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I would not I agree with Musicmom80!
    sta517

    Answer by sta517 at 12:47 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • U don't marry somebody just to make things easier. If u don't love each other kids sense that. They r smart. There has to be another way for u to spend time with your kids,oh wait,there is, just keep telling yourself as soon as u get done with school it will get easier without u sacrificing your future and theirs. Take a family leave from work if u can afford it and spend some time with your kids or leave work early on certain days. Bosses r pretty flexible on that.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 12:49 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

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