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2 Bumps

Holding Back Your Child

DD is 4-1/2 and is delayed. She has a speech delay, is immature, and doesn't learn either as well as or at the pace of or the same as other children her age. She has been in pre-school (half day) since she was 2-1/2 and receives speech therapy through school (no other therapies are needed). Next school year would be the normal year for her to start Kindergarten...which, at least at this point, we know she's not ready for.

I've heard of kids going through kindergarten for two years to better prepare them and her teacher has talked about the possibility of putting her in 1/2 day preschool 1/2 day kindergarten next year.

How do you know what is the right thing to do? Can you truly trust the teachers to know the best thing for your child in a case like this?


Asked by AllAboutKeeley at 1:57 PM on Oct. 19, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • if it was my choice I'd give him a little more time too. but then I'd put any child in Kindergarten at the last minute
    why rush?


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I would hold her from going to K. Send her to preschool more days/week if she is is only going a few. Why put her in K twice? K is VERY rigorous and they expect ALLOT from LO. It's not like it was when we were little. it is similar to a 1st or even 2nd grade environment that we had. Preschool is a MUCH better environment for her. it is so much better for a child to be the oldest than the youngest. It creates confidence because they can achieve. If they are too young and struggling they become insecure and incompetant. She will thrive with an additional year in preschool. GL!

    Answer by coolchic320 at 2:43 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I think it would be better to hold her back now, rather than put her in Kindergarten next year and then repeat it. Kids would realize she was held back. It would definitely be talked about. I'd rather her just go in at 6. Do an extra year of preschool.

    Answer by mompam at 1:59 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Call the school principal. I bet she will have good advice for you.

    Answer by mompam at 2:13 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I think you should go to the school district and ask them. they might be able to test your child. and put her is a special class.


    Answer by louise2 at 2:20 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I would let her go and see what happens who knows she may surprise you.


    Answer by luvmygrlz at 2:21 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • We decided to hold our DS for a 2nd year of preK-4, because we knew that he just wasn't mature enough and it was the best decision we ever made. We had the choice to have him be the youngest or the oldest in the class, because his birthday is at the end of July. He's now in 5th grade and flying through with straight A's. He's also at the same maturity as his classmates. His friends don't even realize that he's a little older than they are.
    Take your time and think about what is the best thing for your DD. If you push her forward now will she need to be held back later when it becomes a big deal and the kids will talk?

    Answer by dmbutler at 2:23 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I couldn't agree more with coolchic320!! You could also ask your pediatricain's advice.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:46 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • As far as your last question: no, I would not trust the school or teachers to know what is best for my child. I worked in schools. And unfortunately when it comes to developmental delays many teachers do not know what is appropriate. Because you also get into the medical side....they are not doctors or therapists. Part developmental, part cognitive, part social/ is more than academics.  I'm assuming you have an I.E.P. for your child.  If you do not....she NEEDS one.  That is where I would start with my son first.  On the I.E.P. I would focus on what related resources the school is going to offer my child.  In your case it is speech.  And for how many times a week, in what type of setting (group or individual - I prefer individual).  I would also have a team outside of school.  I have very good friends who specialize in this.  My friend has a doctorate in speech therapy and works with delayed


    Answer by frogdawg at 11:33 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • children. If I didn't have a friend...I would find a speech therapist willing to look at the situation and make suggestions for the I.E.P. as a consultant. Which is what my friend would do for me. And I have been in your shoes. Then I also have a friend who has her Master's in education and specializes in children living with differences. I would have her assess the situation and make suggestions. As far as putting my child in K - 5 , I would not right away. Not if I knew my child was behind developmentally from other children. I would give my child the extra cushion room to be in preschool another year. If that was not an option and I had to move to K-5 then I suppose I would be advocating her need to stay in the room for a second year. I would also be looking more at social skills at this time with her peers rather than focus on acedmics. Pressure for delayed children causes more problems. I would


    Answer by frogdawg at 11:37 AM on Oct. 20, 2010