Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Help with my daughter....

My daughter is 4yrs old will be 5 in dec and i have no clue what to do with her anymore she does not listen to me until i am having to yell at her and i hate doing that i have tried talking quietly so she would have to listen more closely butthat didnt work and i also hate having to pop her butt but she is constantly not listening and doing stuff she knows she is not supposed to do.. also she is in prek and does not have these problems at school please help me im kind of stuck on what to do

Answer Question

Asked by momof4onesApup at 3:01 PM on Oct. 19, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 12 (841 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • It is very normal for children to go all out misbehaving with mom and then be perfect angels elsewhere, she has figured what makes you tick and is enjoying the ticking. Start a different approach instead of the yelling or butt smacking, take away a pleasant thing she enjoys or maybe a special toy, something she will miss having, a tv show, a game, you know better than anyone what she likes, whatever it is take it away every time she misbehaves, and set a certain time before she can have it again.

    Answer by older at 3:14 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Email me exactly what is going on and I can offer's hard to say just by your comment. Also has she always "not listened'?

    Answer by coolchic320 at 3:15 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • i have tried that also and it doesnt work

    Comment by momof4onesApup (original poster) at 3:15 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Well have you thought about spending a day at school to observe? Do you have a routine at home? Are you sticking with one form of punishment? I would suggest a naughty spot or putting your child in the the corner for as many minutes as the child is old. Each time the child leaves the spot, the child should be put back in the spot and time started over. Consistency is key. Also some children act out when they are "bored" which also could be why she acts well at school because they have a day full of things to do. I would suggest when you punish you should be stern but not yell. Think about how often you listened to your parents when they yelled. It may stop the child but in the end they don't really hear what you say because the tone of your voice is either angering or scaring them. For every time I punish, I give at least twice as much praise throughout the day, how would you act if only negative got attention?

    Answer by jroseh68 at 3:18 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • How about rewards? have a chart...each time you catch her listening or doing something good make a big deal out of it and have her put a sticker on her chart...when she reaches 10 stickers take her to get a prize....I also did a popscicle pocket for my DS. Everytine he listens I have him put a poscicle stick in a cutrly decorated cup. When he forgets to listen he takes it out...when all poscicles sticks are in he gets a prize. Talk to her about what the new plan is...

    Answer by coolchic320 at 3:19 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • i have tried many different types of punishment for extended periods of time and i have also tried rewards and charts stickers prizes they work for a short period of time then i guess she gets bored with them and i guess i need some ideas on things she can do at home that will keep her busy because she is a very busy and active child and i will try the chart thing again and do lottery tickets and if she has one for each day of the week maybe take her for ice cream or something

    Comment by momof4onesApup (original poster) at 3:23 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • It is better to stick to one thing or one type of thing. Children will not always follow because yes they do get bored or they try to push your buttons and act out but if you keep up with it and stay consistent eventually things get better.

    Answer by jroseh68 at 3:29 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • jrose is right...also how many days a week and hors is she going to preschool? does she still nap etc? what time of day do you have her? SHe sounds like my DS as far as being active. He MUST have 2 solid hours of VERY active play EVERY day. I take him to the park, swim lessons. I also joined My Gym. Well worth the money. he gets a class and can attend 4 Open Plays a week. Also TO DON'T work! They are a total waste of time if you want your child to correct their behavior. If you use them as a TO for your patience that is one thing.

    Answer by coolchic320 at 3:43 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • she goes to prek all day 5 days a week and i also have 2 other kids so i cannot just soley take a couple hours and do stuff with her because i have my other 2 which are 8 and 3 and i also go to school so in the afternoons i am doing homework with the 2 older ones and my homework i still do playtime but its hard for me to do one on one play time

    Comment by momof4onesApup (original poster) at 3:48 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • ummm...what about a bounce hose or indoee trampoline? lmao!

    Answer by coolchic320 at 4:16 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.