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A "bully" is still a child....

Does anyone else feel like calling a child a bully is wrong? We are told not to call our kids brats and other names, teach our kids not to call names etc.
I have been harrassed severly in school, so I know what it's like. They grew up to be unhappy, insecure, adults.
Instead of beating down a child with a bullying issue(not saying consequences aren't a neccessity) wouldn't getting to the core of the issue end it for good?
Teaching them how to get along?
These kids are our future society!
Setting an Example as adults and how we treat others?
Learning how to share feelings appropriately?

Why it's important.
Sensetivity training?

 
Musicmom80

Asked by Musicmom80 at 3:06 PM on Oct. 19, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 36 (80,428 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • i feel bad for everyone involved. the kid that is being bullied (i was bullied to the point i wanted to take my own life, i even tried) and for the person bullying. why is the kid being a bully? there is obviously something causing that kid to show that kind of behavior. and the kid being bullied needs support to, they need to be made to feel they arent worthless. its a sad situation all around. i fear for my kids, i dont want them to be bullied and i really dont want them to be a bully. my 5 year old started making some unkind comments and i told her right away that it isnt right. people used to call mommy names and it made her cry and its not nice to make people cry. i asked her why she was she was saying those things and she said someone had said mean things to her, we talked about it and i havent heard her make those comments since.
    tiffanyv123

    Answer by tiffanyv123 at 8:35 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Those are all great ideas. I have just recently partially realized why there may be more "bully" children today then in the past. There is a major lack of common courtesy today. I have really noticed this since my Son started Preschool. Most Moms & Dads are very stand-offish, cold, un-courteous and just down right unpleasant. I am no social butterfly but I try to be extra pleasant at Preschool and when I say hello I usually get an obnoxious smirk and a glance away. I have even recently went on the school field trip and some Mothers were Texting the entire time!!! What is so utterly important that it cannot wait?? What did we all do without cell phones or texting??? Did the world end?? How can you teach a child right & wrong if you cannot stop being SOOOO preoccupied with yourself?? I think Parents need to be re-taught manners today first so they can raise respectful children.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:21 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • It depends on the age... When they're say, 15 and over, I think they are well aware of what they're doing, and that it's wrong. But when we're talking about younger kids, I think they're not really aware, and are either imitating older kids, or their parents.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 3:14 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I like your thinking. Although it is easier said than done in this society. Unfortunately we are always pointing the finger to blame. We always "want" peace and positiveness done to us but somehow do not feel that the opposite applies. I think it will be a long haul. he are an egotistical society on so many levels and we really need to figure out a way to change..
    coolchic320

    Answer by coolchic320 at 3:10 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I agree that the 'bullies' often need help too. Sometimes people who are bullies were actually bullied themselves. I also think there's a difference between CONFLICT between people and someone being a bully. People often disagree and sometimes kids push each other, fight, or whatever, but a bully does it with a smile on their face. They usually enjoy tormenting someone else or feel some kind of power from it. We definitely need to teach our kids to respect each other, be sensitive to differences, and how to disagree without being a 'bully'.
    pam19

    Answer by pam19 at 3:15 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I agree. Bullying has been going on for years, but now it has excelled to a point were children are dieing, so society has to re-examine how we interact with each other and learn how to talk things out better. It isn't about being PC but real and trying to understand the others point of view. If adults can't seem to manage this how can we expect our children to. We as parents need to set a better example and not assume kids are being kids. And keep it off the freaking internet people.
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 3:22 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • At my children's school they already have teachings like that, They have a second step program that works with the kids and they have found that instead of bullies always getting in trouble they are praised when they do good. This has helped a lot and you see a difference in all the kids. I think the schools can only do so much. I think part of the problem is what happens when the kids are at home and not when they are in the school. I am not sure if we can go into the house holds and tell parents how to raise their children. Don't get me wrong I would love to be able to explain to parents how they might be hurting their children, I'm just not sure how that would work.

    I do believe it is a great idea and that these kids are our future and we need to help them in the best way we can.
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:03 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I think children of any age who are in school are dealing with being bullied themselves and feel like they need the attention from others by bullying other people so that they can feel what they feel what is goin on in there life. Sometimes it's the parents fault or someone in their family on why they are bulling other children. You can't fix that unless you fix who is influencing that child's life.
    SparklingHope

    Answer by SparklingHope at 3:20 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I, too, was harassed severly as a child and yes children can be bullies and are bullies. Schools don't do enough about it and these kids grow up thinking it's ok to treat other people that like. Meanwhile, those who they bully have pyschological scars for life. Many commit suicide. There have been several in this area very recently. Schools need to do more, especially when parents complain.
    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 3:59 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • yes, children who bully others should have counseling.
    sarlove01

    Answer by sarlove01 at 9:59 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

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