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If you have an X does their family still include you in their family activities/life?

My XDH's mom and dad call me all the time and send cards and gifts at holidays and birthdays to all of us and what is funny is they even send gifts and cards to my new husband...he thinks it is wierd. When they are in town we all go to dinner with them and shopping. They have no contact with their own son (My XDH). They never talk about or ask about their son or the relationship (or lack there of) with his children. They actually basically adopted my new DH and our new baby into their family like it's meant to be...it can be really strange and uncomfortable and it took a while to get use to it. My XDH and I have 3 children who are now teens and they have no contact with their father (per his choice). My XMIL and XFIL just invited us and the children up north for Christmas! Should we? I mean they have been nothing but nice and we respect. The invitation said both DH and my name (with all the children listed). X and his wife

 
4_28_bbboy

Asked by 4_28_bbboy at 3:18 PM on Oct. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (12,593 Credits)
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Answers (16)
  • Honestly, I think it's lovely....they are probably in a lot of pain because of their son and do not want the divorce to take their grandchildren too....It sounds like they love you, and it is lovely that they include your husband and new child....it would be more awkward if they did not......just accept them as family.....they are most of your children's blood family, and yours through your children...
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 8:03 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I'm sure the ex in-laws love spending time with you because you were a part of their lives for a very long time. I don't see anything wrong with it. I am sure it's strange, not something you would typically see happening. However, my in-laws are divorced, and FIL remarried 2 years ago, and MIL still talks to his mom, and comes up to see her. They were married for 30 years, and their kids are grown. You can't just cut someone out of your life, especially when there are kids involved no matter what their ages. I think if your husband is okay with it, then why not. It gives you a chance for a little vacation, and they get to spend extra time with the grandkids.  

    Punky_1981

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 6:47 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I see and talk to my XMIL more then my own mother lol, we just did a family bday with XDH's entire extended family. They're sweet people and if I ever get remarried, he will have to be ok with the fact that sometimes we spend Christmas with them.
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 8:01 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I think if you have a good relationship with them, and your DH isn't completely opposed, why not? They are still your kids' grandparents, and obviously they have a better relationship with you than they do with their own son... I think it's kind of cute, really.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 3:21 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I still go to my ex in laws house. We have a great relationship and I will go stay with them a few days so they can spend time with their granddaughter. I am just about to get married and they are excited but htey havent met my fiance yet. He does think it will be weird but he is willing to have them over still since it is my dd's grandparents.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:25 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Yes, they DID but now they are all deceased.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 3:28 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I don't have anything to do with ex in laws.
    My3Ez

    Answer by My3Ez at 3:29 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I just feel like it is in the best interest of my dd to know her family. I dont agree with how they are all the time but they are nice people and respect that she is being raised well and they want to know her. They live 12 hours away so our contact is limited to a few times a year. They send packages for Christmas and such. My ex has been to rehab a few times and its nice to know that they see he is a problem. I never talk bad about him with them but I know they have been frustrated and they are glad that they can see theri granddaughter and that she isnt in the bad enviroment anymore. Its not weird at all for me to go stay at their house but now that Im geting remarried i think it would be weird for my new husband to go. I will probably continue to go alone for the time being and he will get to know them when they come here.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:35 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • OH that is terrible. Im glad his family has been supportive! Its great of you to still let them see the kids, they didnt do anything wrong and they are family. I think its great they want to be involved. If hubby is uncomfortable you dont have to stay at theri house. You could get a hotel and do a mini vacation with sight seeing and vist the grandparents a few times while you are there. You could ask if another time is better if you want to stay home for the holidays.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 5:19 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Me & my EX-MIL are still very close- i have No Contact with my EX-Husband- He chose to have nothing to do with my daughter- i live in NC & my MIL lives in Georgia; she comes to visit alot:) YES- you & your family should go to spend Christmas with them!
    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 9:12 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

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