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3 Bumps

What would you consider to be "reasonable visitation?

My friend got divorced last week and all her ex got was reasonable supervised visitation bc he's a perv and done sexual stuff to his daughter and doesn't to be aroud her anyways, but his grandma has to be there while he has the 2 kids, which are 4 and almost 1...well she let him see them this past fri, sat, and sun bc she has to work those 3 days...she said she didn't even have her kids back for 8 hours and he was calling and texting wanting them again....So my question is, what is considered reasonable visitation? I have it with my ex husband for my daughter but he only comes to see her like once a year so Ive never had a problem.
I told my friend if it were me, I'd only let him see them like once or twice a week.

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misspriss_1987

Asked by misspriss_1987 at 7:11 PM on Oct. 19, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 13 (955 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • I would say reasonable visitation would be every other weekend, and maybe every Wednesday. But if he's done sexual things to his own children he doesn't need to see them at all!
    jasesmommy0529

    Answer by jasesmommy0529 at 7:13 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I would say every other weekend for no more than 6-8 hours per day and maybe a week night for dinner
    kjbennett26

    Answer by kjbennett26 at 7:16 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • To me sense he has to be supervised. I would only let him see the kids for a couple of hours once a week. I would tell him if he objects he can bring it up with the court, what he did to the girls and all.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:16 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Ummm, if there's a history of sexual abuse, I don't think he should see them at all.... And I know for damn sure I wouldn't let ANYBODY who touched my child inappropriately even once anywhere near him, supervised or not. Not taking that into consideration, I believe reasonable visitation is different for everybody... I mean, some parents truly co-parent 50/50, some have the dad take the kid(s) every other weekend and maybe a weekday, like jasesmommy0529 said. I truly believe it's best to have visitation agreed upon in writing, either through mediation or the courts, just so everybody is on the same page. Then again, when both parents are GOOD parents, I don't really see why the mother should have the child the majority of the time, either.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 7:17 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Well he only done it to the little girl who is 4 and then left my friend for another girl when she was like 2-3 months pregnant with a little boy.
    But yeah I thought he should only get to see them like once or twice a week.
    misspriss_1987

    Comment by misspriss_1987 (original poster) at 7:18 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I probably wouldn't let my kids every see him if he did things like that to them.
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 7:18 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • i would say NO VISITATION IS REASONABLE for him after hurting a child....

    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 7:22 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • It took her from like April of last year until last week to get divorced bc of the custody and the sexual stuff and him getting investigated by the state police...he didn't molest her but he done other stuff that the little girl told her grandma about and she was 3 at the time and 3 yr olds dont make perverted stuff up like that. Ive known the guy a long time and he's a sex addict and he's "weird" when it comes to talking about dirty stuff like that so I without a doubt believe it.
    misspriss_1987

    Comment by misspriss_1987 (original poster) at 7:24 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • yeah i'm with all the people who don't think he should get visitation period, but if it's court ordered she needs to do it. it sounds like she wants to give him visitation when it's convenient for her as a priority and not necessarily what's in the best interests of the kids or planned out (sorry if that sounds harsh). i have a friend whose younger daughter's father was caught touching her other daughter while she was sleeping. my friend made the court psychologically evaluate him, have supervised visits, etc. he fought for his visitation or he wouldn't have had any she made it very difficult and the courts gave specifics about frequency and time. any time he didn't follow the letter of the order she took him back to court and had visitation stopped. she also had her younger daughter in counseling. the court should spell it out IMO.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 7:30 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • never..no person who has that kind of history would be allowed to see my children!!
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 8:55 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

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